Maotically, Murphy filled Mondays


monday

I swear the maotically weird day started because the man walking his dog hexed me. He put his bad juju on me because he thought I was interrupting his morning walk. Honestly I was just trying to leave my neighborhood and make it to work on time. I was patiently waiting for him to, illegally, cross the street with his cute dog who wasn’t on a leash. I would never hit an animal! Or anything else if I can help it especially before 8:00 AM, I mean the coffee is barely got me conscious!

I was a few minutes behind but the traffic was light I was going to make it! My GPS was on and I didn’t have school drop off so my route would be shorter.

Then Murphy steps in. “Keep going for the next 4 miles” says my GPS man Simon. Yo Simon, the road is Closed! Why wasn’t that in there! Doesn’t the wolfen update the maps nightly or something?!

keep calm murphys law

Since I once drove that route for over 10 years I figured it would be no problem… right! I forgot how many red lights there were. Then I got on the open road and well opened up, praying all the while to not be late, to get there safe and without a good driving award for my speed skills.

I made it to work only 5 minutes late and still shaking a bit over the drive there which got a bit hairy towards the end. But I made it!

I worked my 10-hour shift and enjoyed my client’s company. We watched Alabama slaughter that other team and then it was time for me to go.

I had my bags and cooler ready. I just couldn’t find my keys.

It seems when I ran out earlier to grab one of my notebooks, I put the key on the seat, locked the door and went back inside. Sometimes I wonder what my brain is actually processing, like why I put the key on the seat in the first place and not in my pocket?! I do not need to work shifts this long with not a lot of sleep and having had back procedures two days prior. But I needed the funds!

I learned that if the window is cracked and I use a coat hanger, I can open my door. I was impressed with myself but a little freaked at how easy it was. Note to self, don’t leave windows cracked unless you know no one else can get in!

Finally I was headed home! After a call to mom, my man and then getting fuel for the Jeep because it was cheaper on that side of town, I began my drive back home in the dark with the GPS leading the way. I thought, somehow, that it would remember the way I went that morning and the road closures. No such luck. Did I mention it was dark?! I have a bit of night blindness and my contacts felt glued to my eyeballs. I knew Murphy was having fun with me again. Of course the signs aren’t on the road I was on for the detour and I ended up going around in circles praying I would find my way!

I finally recognized a road that I knew led to home and called my boyfriend, who since I was running so late, was meeting me at a local restaurant. I asked him to please order me a strong drink. He already had! I don’t drink much or often but sometimes I need something a bit harder than sweet tea to get me through!

I finally made it home and got a little work done after a nice relaxing dinner.

Of course I was up the next day because you know, no rest for the wicked!

Tomorrow is another day. I still don’t get to sleep in like I want to! I may just hibernate this winter. I wonder if the boy and everyone would want to just get a nice, warm cave away from it all and hibernate? Not such a bad idea!

I hope you all have a wonderful week! It’s a short holiday week so you can make it.

Keep Hope Alive!

week weirder could it

 

 

 

Who takes care of those who have no one?


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Working in the field I do, I often wonder, who takes care of those with no families? I think of how challenging it must be to find good help for our older generation. Most people are on a fixed income of some sort and filling out forms and documents are challenging for anyone, no matter what their income is.
A friend of mine and I were discussing the filling out of Medicare forms and how if you leave one little thing off or check the wrong box, it throws the whole application off and you have to basically start over.
It is beyond frustrating for people who are completely cognitive and somewhat able to follow the convoluted directions given, whether online or written; however, for someone who has no one to ask or turn to for help, it would be a complete nightmare. It is a nightmare for many who know what they are doing and who can do it themselves or have families, but what about those who don’t? What happens to those people?
Have you ever visited a nursing home or assisted living? Have you seen the people in the common rooms and hallways who don’t know you but always wave and smile at you like you are a ray of sunshine on a rainy afternoon after long days of storms? Chances are half of those people have no one. No family or close friends. Their contact is with the caregivers, residents and people who come to the facility for entertainment or to see others.
Any time I am going through to see someone I make it a point to say hello to everyone I see. I wave or say hello depending. Sometimes I know a lengthy conversation can ensue and I know how to handle that situation yet I still open myself up for conversation. One thing I always get is a smile or hello in return. I was even asked to a dance and also a marriage proposal from one of those hellos!
Recently I decided it was time to change my insurance for myself and the boy. Since I no longer work for a corporation, when I was let go, I was given the option of cobra insurance. For those not in the know, it is the same plan you had, just at a much higher premium and coverage lasts for anywhere from one to two years. I had the two-year option, but it is too high so I am finally getting around to changing it. I also was making an appointment for a MRI and checking to see if the dental insurance I pay out the wazoo for had paid for a regular office visit from July. I was on the phone for 5 1/2 hours! And I get to call back on the insurances and MRI next week because of course things can’t be done when some folks say they will be done.
I was so very frustrated and still am. It’s annoying as hell and I have to make myself stop and ask myself again, “Who does this for people who have no one?”
Every one of the people I have cared for have families. Even if it’s “extended” family they have someone(s) that can help them out through most of the madness.
That includes getting groceries, toiletries, cleaning, help with bills, finances, insurance.
I have seen people who have families that you would expect to be helping but then don’t and the person ends up losing a car or getting their power or phones turned off simply because the bill wasn’t paid. There was money in the bank but the bills were not paid. They are supposed to have someone yet no one was paying attention to them knowing they need help. That straight up angers me to the core.

negativity

Again, I wonder, who helps those who cannot do for themselves?
I have purchased food for families standing in the grocery store parking lot. I have cried with them as I gave them what I would have considered “not much” but then they had nothing and were so grateful to have something to cook for their family and promised me they could “make it work.”
I volunteer with a local group who helps provide children with Christmas and things people may be in need of throughout the year. I believe there were 2 or 3 house fires and countless people losing their jobs as well as family members taking on children for other family members. People who need immediately and there isn’t always an option to wait for assistance from the local or state government.
When I hear of someone in need and know of something I or someone I know can do to help I get make it happen. It may not be everything they need but they are grateful for the step in the direction of something.
But it still isn’t enough!
Right now we are facing hunger, poverty, homelessness and people without medical care in our own communities.
We are also being asked to help others who are seeking refuge from evils in their own homes and communities. There is a split census on what should be done about these humans who did not choose to be driven from their homes and country. Some believe we can give help somewhere closer to their home country. Others believe we should allow them into our country and communities.

life gets better

It is still the same question, who takes care of those who cannot take care of themselves?
To my knowledge, we don’t choose where we are born and our circumstances. If that was the case no one would choose to be born into hunger, poverty, tyranny, have no medical care or nowhere to home. No one would choose to be born into violence, hatred, servitude or oppression.
I know and understand taking care of oneself is a challenge. Taking care of yourself and your family adds even more stress. But I also can’t help but think of those that I can help in addition to myself and my loved ones. It may be in small ways, maybe not all the time but I can still make a difference.
I pray that others will feel their humanity and find it within themselves to help just one person this week. Not to “look good” by being philanthropic but to do it because it’s the right thing to do.
It is something which is a whole lot better than nothing!

help_other_people_everywhere

Signing off giving y’all some food for thought and a boat load of happiness on this fine, cold Sunday!
I hope you all have a fabulous day!
Keep Hope Alive!!!!
Lady Maos

Happy Birthday Daddy… dreams do come true and I miss you


Dear Daddy,

Today is 6 months of writing my blog on a daily basis! I am so proud of myself. You always taught me I could do anything and to do right by others. I am trying so hard and feel you around me all the time. Because of my writing I feel I have unlocked a door that I had forgotten about. One crucial to my essential being. By telling me to be true to myself I have found myself again. I found strength I didn’t know I had. Thanks to encouragement from family and special friends, remembering you and Grandmama always telling me to follow my heart and dreams, I am living my dream!

Today is your birthday. The second one since you’ve been gone. To say I miss you and your love and wisdom is an understatement. I would give anything for a hug and a kiss from my daddy just one more time. The words you always to me, to hear your voice again and feel your arms around me always made me know I was going to be ok.

There is so much going on in my life and in the world and I need your guidance and love more than ever. I hope you are proud of me and what I am doing. I remember your words of always stand up for others and to not be afraid because you knew deep down when you are doing the right thing.

I take comfort in our conversations we shared at random times throughout my life. Some were short, some were long but all were of value. All of the wisdom and the stories you shared with me, the way you understood and even respected my rebel side, I miss these things. I miss you.

You let me fly and also taught me how to be humble and respect every living being. You encouraged me when I know it had to be hard to do so. You also always loved me no matter what I said or did. I know there were times you didn’t like me as much and looking back, I can’t blame you. I wasn’t the easiest child to raise and I can be a bit stubborn and willful I know! You taught me to control my temper when I was young and I know that was no cake walk. You showed me how to channel my anger to find solutions to help myself and others along the way. You shared with me how to work through hurt, rage and fear. You always stood up for me even when it was hard to do. You never gave up on me and you always were there for me.

I wish you were here with us, our family. You have two amazing grandsons and my boy has already started telling his cousin about Pops and how wonderful you are. We all miss you and feel the ache so deeply. We are taking care of Mom as we would have no matter if we promised or not. You instilled in us the joy and challenges of family and how we stick together no matter what.

The legacy of family, friends and business you left is awe inspiring.

Oh Daddy I wish we could spend another day, another hour together. I know I would want more time. We all do.

I am so thankful and grateful you were always there for me for 43 years of my life.

It’s been one year, eight months and 11 days since we last saw you. I know you are free and whole again. I have to believe it. I know that your body is no longer ravaged by an insidious disease that could no longer be controlled. I know you no longer hurt.

They say time heals all wounds and that it gets easier. I’m sorry if I can’t see it that way. I didn’t always live in the same state and sometimes we would go a bit before talking or seeing each other but you were always There. I am better about not breaking down or breaking down in front of everyone, though sometimes it happens. I get overwhelmed by the fact that the first love of my life is no longer on this planet. It hurts my heart and soul.

They boy talks about you all the time with me. He believes we should be able to get you in heaven and go over the rainbow bridge and see Jethro. He tells me that Jethro has you throwing tennis balls to him and he’s sure you are giving him slices of the square cheese because he loves it. I love that he keeps your memory alive by talking about you.

I need to end this letter now but I know you are watching over us. I feel you with me and us so many times.

I love you, Daddy, with all my heart.

Thank you for always believing in me and my dreams and never giving up on me.

I miss you more than I will ever be able to put into words.

Always,

Your little girl

Being responsible


Once you get to a certain point in your life you have to take responsibilities for things in your life. You can’t always blame others because something you wanted didn’t work out. You can’t shun your responsibilities because you don’t like someone and they make you “mad”.

When you have a child or children the responsibilities grow. Even if you aren’t the “full time” parent or you are “co-parenting”, you have to communicate so that you are doing what is best for your child/children and not what is best for you. You may not like the other parent, but if they are present in your child’s life you have to make the best of things, suck it up and get along.

I have heard so many stories, and live through my own, of single parenting. It is not easy no matter how hard you try you it seems you will always feel guilt. Recently the boy had seen a preview for one of those Disney on Ice events and wanted to go. I looked into and it is only playing during the time he is with his dad. So I told him to ask them to take him. I feel like he might but he explicitly wants me to go. I can’t exactly explain to my 5-year-old that his dad is not my biggest fan and that I can’t just take him during a time when he is supposed to be with his dad. Instead I advise him to ask his dad or his grandparents and promise him I will find something for us to do. When pressed I remind him his dad and grandparents miss him and wants to spend time with him like I do.

I realize that I am fortunate in that right now my son and I are very close. When his dad and I split up, I realized how hard it was going to be on him to not have both parents “there” all the time. He is my miracle boy and we have a bond that runs deep.

I have been consistent in how I talk to him, work with him and keep some semblance of a schedule for him. I communicate with his dad and grandparents as to what I am doing so that if they so desire, they can do something similar. He knows he has different rules depending on where he is. The fact that he is only 5 is often lost when he comes out with adult insights that most adults can’t see. He has been in situations of loss that most people don’t experience quite so early in life and has come out rather well balanced. I am not being biased as his teachers and doctors have agreed that he is quite amazing and have handled situations with a maturity of a much older child while still maintaining his little boy ways.

Most of all he knows I love him no matter what and that his mommy will always be there for him if I am able. He doesn’t doubt it. He knows he can depend on me. Earlier this year I had major surgery. He does karate one day a week and it’s a day that every other week he is with either myself or his dad. I go to every class. Since he started 9 months ago I have only missed 3 classes and all were due to medical reasons. He knows he can look up week after week and his mommy will be there, whether he’s going home with me or not, supporting him and cheering him on.

When you’re responsible for children, you can’t always act on your emotions. You may not realize how much what you do impacts that child and children can be more insightful than you realize. You may think your little wild child isn’t paying attention to your conversation with your friends, but when he ends up blurting out bits and pieces over the next few weeks at inappropriate times, you realize just how much he listened! He can’t repeat back to you what just came out of your mouth when he’s supposed to be learning yet he can quote verbatim a conversation you had with your friends and had no idea he was listening. It’s freaky. True Story!

I guess I am just trying to say we all have responsibilities on varying levels. I just wish more people would stand up to what they need to do even if it means sucking it up and being “nice” to someone you are quite so fond of for the sake of others. Not just a child. But people that matter to you.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

Judge not lest ye be judged…or no one is perfect!


Lately I have noticed more judgement being passed on others. Not opinions but judgement.

In the Christian faith, and I will paraphrase, there is a verse, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” I am seeing is that there are many Christians that are doing the judging. Though to be honest, I am seeing a lot many people of all backgrounds who judge. I don’t understand that. For real, it does not compute with me.

I do not know anyone who is perfect. Seriously. Being perfect is being without flaw.

I don’t know one person who is truly without any flaws. One of the main problems I have with this is, again, who is someone else to judge others?

I understand laws, not that I agree with all of them, but I understand, respect and follow them. Of course I would never walk my cow down the middle of main street after 6 PM! There are some out of date laws on the books, but I will follow the law. That would be an entertaining one to break though, not that I am planning nor condoning the breaking of laws but that one makes me laugh!

What I have issue with are judgements because of disagreements. Disagreement on lifestyle, clothing, food, whom you should be with, when/if you should pray, maybe some think you shouldn’t pray so they judge because you do. Maybe your speech sounds funny or different so someone will judge you on that. Maybe they judge you on what I call the partials… they see a partial piece of your life so they therefore feel they know you and somehow that makes them master of judging you.

There is a fine line between judging and advising or suggesting.

Many times people don’t realize they are judging, they may feel as they are suggesting, but their tone and words sound so very harsh it is hard to think any other way. “You really should wear the other shirt that one makes you look fat.” To me that’s a judgement. And my girlfriends better tell me in a nicer way if something makes me look fat! Saying it like this sounds so much better. “You know that other shirt looks so much better on you. Why don’t you wear that one instead?” If I chose to wear said fat shirt, it is my choice and not for anyone to judge me.

That really is a lighter example of judging but hopefully it gets the point across! I have people that say I should get a bit more in depth with what I say and others say I say too much.

You can have opinions, strong one, just make sure not to blur the line of opinion and judgement. You don’t know what all is going on in the life of someone you so thoughtlessly pass judgment on. They may have lost a loved one, had a child melt down, lost their job so they aren’t in top form when running out the door. Their clothing choice is not for you to judge. The car they drive is not for you to judge.

You saw someone you know talking with “known criminals” so you assume and judge them. What if they were helping them, witnessing to them or sharing with them a better way to live their life? Yet you decided you “know” what’s going on so you judge. Then you tell others. Not only have you judged, but you have gossiped and most likely spread lies. How does that make you a better person?

I have seen people judged for their sex, their skin color, their political views and the church they do or do not attend. They are judged for their choice in friends.

Trying to raise a child in these conditions are challenging. It seems daily I am having to give my boy a different perspective and teach him how to not judge others. I admit I am not perfect. He now tells cars turning without signaling and going to slow to “Use your signal and own your turn!” Anyone who says kids don’t pay attention doesn’t pay attention to them! But he understands name calling, using the words fat, stupid and idiot regarding others will get him in time out faster than Superman can fly to the top of the tallest building.

So I ask you, do your best to not judge others. After all, when you point your finger at others to judge them, you have four fingers pointing back at you.

Have a fabulous day and Keep Hope Alive!

 

Front row seating on the karma parade


Sometimes life hands you that moment you have dreamed about, watching karma in action.

No matter if you have forgiven the person for the wrongs against you, you wonder how it can be that some people can be so cruel and mean but they seem to glide on through life, not caring about the havoc they reek on others and getting away with it seemingly without consciousness nor concern for anyone but themselves.

While you continue on the path, no matter how hard and how painful, of the right and moral way to get through this havoc and hell that you allowed yourself into because you cared.

You are not the only casualty of this war, but you are at the top of the hit list.

In order to have peace of mind you have to move forward in a healthy way, not giving into the rage and anger because you know how easily you could become like the person who continues to fuel the fires though the title fight is over.

It is not easy but you have no choice to focus on making your life better and keep hope alive. The process is slow, painful and exhilarating. You find you are stronger than you ever imagined. You find patience where you thought there was no patience and strength you thought had long gone.

You finally reach that point where you no longer have any feelings… no fear, nausea, anxiety. It has all gone. You realize you are free.

You can even be around them without stressing and feeling ill.

Their power over you is gone.

You are always watchful. You know to not trust this person. But you have a place of peace now.

Then, when you are not expecting it, karma falls into your lap and gives you first row seating to one of the main events.

There are so many tentacles of what it could be but this one, oh yes this one, somehow, deep down, you knew the universe could not let them get a free pass. You knew one day this would have to surface. They will have no choice but to face the music.

Although you thought about it, dreamed of it, now that it is transpiring you do feel a tug in your mind, guilt of feeling any kind of happiness that it’s finally being stopped. They can’t hurt you in that way anymore but you still feel a tiny bit bad that it is going to be so rough for them. Then you think about all that you paid for, the heartache, tears and years. You think of how you no longer harbor hatred and wonder if they will ever find that peace.

Sadly, you realize that they may never find their compassion or peace in this life. You realize this could be just the first wave of the karma parade.

How are you supposed to feel? It isn’t up to me. I didn’t make it happen. I feel that I am supposed to be happy or relieved but honestly, I am just more in awe. The universe takes care of those who take care of others in its own time.

I know I believe.

Keep hope alive.

 

Have a happy maotic, madness Monday!


enjoy monday madness

Greeting from the land of the maotic Monday!

I hope you all had a fantastically, fabulous weekend!

Mine was filled with love, fun and maos of course! I really need to remember my limitations but seem to be pushing myself further and more than I should. I just can’t help it. I am paying for it but every moment was worth it. Except the20- minutes it took me to go 2 miles due to traffic Friday evening. That I can do without thank you very much!

Looking forward I realized it’s all downhill from here… Thanksgiving is next week, then we jump right into the Christmas season.

turkey santa

On the plus side I have heard more and more people talking about NOT going out on Thanksgiving night to Christmas shop for those bargain deals and hearing of more and more retailers having online sales and of not being opened Thanksgiving evening. Something I am opposed to for numerous reasons. It’s enough that medical and law enforcement have to work but I don’t see why people can’t wait a few more hours so that people can actually have a whole day off from the retail!

no shopping on thanksgiving

I also got fabulous news on the career front and I will be going back to work full-time like people do starting the Monday after Thanksgiving! It’s been a bit of a roller coaster of a ride of life regarding employment for me.

Last year, during this month, I was laid off from my “corporate respectable decent paying” full time job. I didn’t let it phase me too much. In part, I was somewhat relieved as I honestly couldn’t see myself in that industry for the rest of my life. I had a bit in savings, however, as we all know, life is not free. So I signed up for unemployment. That’s only 6 months for those who think it lasts a year(s) that isn’t the case here in the great state of Alabama. Plus, is it a tiny fraction of what you made so I began looking for work.

I was blessed to find care giving jobs. I also went on interviews, sent out literally hundreds of resumes and corresponded with several potential employers. The only decent/good one is the one I have now working in the care giving industry part-time which sadly doesn’t pay a lot. I have generated funds selling a long respected line of beauty products, yes fabulously graceless loves her skincare products, as well as a handful of writing jobs here and there but have constantly been looking.

dr nurses caregivers

When I did the Walk to End Alzheimer’s, a friend sent an email about another potential caregiver position and went in to apply for the job. The owner and I hit it off immediately and chatted away. I felt pretty good I would get clients from them and hopefully even some office work down the road.

That was 3 weeks ago. Last week I got a call from him wanting to “pick my brain”. After talking for 45 minutes, neither of us realizing it had been that long because we were talking about work but it’s with that passion you find with people who believe like you do that people deserve and should receive the best care possible, how challenging Alzheimer’s disease is, how employees should perform and how each case varied but the compassion should be there no matter what… so my hope grew a bit bigger after that conversation but I didn’t want to jinx or say anything because well, I have that Murphy dude who likes to mess with me so I wasn’t saying anything! Then I got the call Thursday evening and it was a go and my start date! Talk about the happy dance!

My biggest concerns, of course, were telling the employers and clients I have now I will no longer be able to be with them. It was easier telling my employer than I thought and she congratulated me as she understood why I was branching out. Telling Miss Candy and my knitting friends I won’t be able to go on Mondays anymore will be a bit harder. So say a little prayer for me on that part today! I tend to get close to my clients. There is a lot of trust between caregiver and patient. It isn’t always easy. I even think about the clients who were only in my care a time or two and hope they are well.

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With my new adventure I will be able to work with the families as well as the caregivers. Being on both sides of the coin I am excited to start my new adventure. I am also a bit nervous because I know what’s expected of me. I know I can do it. I always have HOPE!

I Hope you all have a fabulous Monday!

Keep Hope Alive!!!

 

Life, hope and reality through the eyes of a child


eyes of child JOY use

I want to share how life looks through my boy’s eyes.

The eyes and opinions of a child are so true and pure.

They are little sponges and are for the most part, naïve and honest. Much more so than we are. They say what they’re thinking as they are thinking it. I am working with the boy on discretion.

He enjoys people watching. This past summer at the beach, if a girl in a 2 piece walked by, my boy was checking her out. Smiling goofily and almost drooling. I was telling him how to look without staring. He now understands sun glasses now and how well you can look at people but they can’t see your eyes. He prefers to all out look at them. He is also not judgmental, if they had their belly showing, he was grinning no matter what sized body they had.

I am working with him on that filter from brain to mouth. It is proving to be a bit more challenging. Also he is getting more curious about life and how things work. Exciting and scary at the same time. Kind of like his questions and statements, sometimes exciting other times his phrasing or learning can lead to awkwardness, embarrassment or frustration. Sometimes I just don’t have the right answers but I try.

“Mommy your belly is so big, is there a baby in there?” No kid, you’re the only one. My miracle but when you ask me that in front of others, I understand, for an instant, why certain species eat their young.

“Why is that man screaming at that lady,” on seeing a man yelling at a woman in a parking lot. I knew that is was a domestic violent situation, saw the approaching police and could move the vehicle forward, away from the ugly truth of life. I give him snippets, “Sometimes adults yell and scream at each other and it isn’t right to be doing that to someone, much less in public.” His response, “There must be something wrong with him to act like that. I’m 5 now and I know I shouldn’t scream at people mommy.” Oh my sweet angel, if only we all knew that and if we acted on it, apologized genuinely like you do.

“Mommy we are all different colors, but we are all alike. I don’t understand the big deal.” “What do you mean?” “Well I am white with blonde hair and blue eyes. You are light brown with green/brown eyes and black hair, and I have friends with brown skin and black hair. But we are all peoples. So what’s the big deal when people act all mean and weird?” “You know what buddy, we are all equal. No matter what our skin color or where we are from. Sometimes people want to think they are better than other people.” “Like smarter?” “Well yes smarter or more important, that their life is better than the other person’s life.” “Well that’s dumb. We are all people, we all pee and poop. We all get smelly. We all laugh. Sometimes people can’t see or don’t have arms or legs or look different but we are all people. There must be something wrong with some people.” Oh my child you have no idea.

“You know I wish we could visit heaven and cross that rainbow bridge. Seems like we need to find a way to do that. We have all these puters and smart people and space. How come we haven’t find a way to visit? I want to see Pops and Jethro again. Maybe when I grow up and become a superhero, I can find a way to do that.” That one brought tears to my eyes. It still does.

children are happy no file of wrong

Many cultures believe that children are more in touch with their past lives, the spirit world and universal truths. That we are born with an ability to trust and believe in others and are more empathetic. They also see things that once you begin growing older, the majority begin to lose the ability to see beyond this world. As they age, they begin to lose that naivety and become more jaded. Many times it is due to their environment and their beliefs their parents, families and guardians feel.

There are many children that will still see and feel these things not only as youth, but as they grow older. They remain empathetic and compassionate. This does not necessarily mean that they are “strange” or not like “normal” kids. Many of them learn who they can talk to and who they can’t. Sometimes their families help them along and others find like people and information that help them along their journey.

We often discount children and their fantastical tales, their songs, their opinions. After all, how much life experience do they have?

I know I have heard the boy and several other children talk about “their life before this one.” I have also talked to some of those kids who only vaguely remember talking about it as the memories have faded. Things that he has said make me pause and think about things.

Who’s to say he didn’t have another life before this one? He talks about before he was borned (his word, we’re learning) when he was in heaven waiting for a new family. He says he remembers being told he would get a “good” mommy this time who loved him more than anything and would listen to all the things he had to say and not make fun of him for singing, dancing, making up stories and remembering things from his “other” life. Whoever told him that was spot on.

So do I think he has a bit of life experience? Yes. Does that mean I am going to allow him to do something beyond his years, like a drive a car, at 6 years old? That would be a big NO! Well, not unless he shows some mad learning skills along with better focus in the next 10 months! Ha, who am I kidding?! Absolutely not letting the boy drive anything other than go carts and bicycles for quite a while!

In the words of my boy, “Be nice to everybody, even if they are mean to you. Then just look at those people and smile and say “too bad” and walk away. They aren’t worth your time. We only want fun people on our ride!”

wisdom of ages eyes of child

As for me, I am keeping hope alive!

Have a fabulous day!

 

 

Happy Friday! There is HOPE!


motivational friday

Don’t you love it when you have fabulous things happening but you can’t share it yet because there are still variables and you don’t want to jinx it?! Yeah, that is my life at the moment!

My Keep Hope Alive is working and on a faster scale than I expected in some areas. Things that have had no movement in months are starting to move quickly and I am scrambling to try and get myself as ready as possible to jump when the time comes!

Ahhh life with all of its joy and challenges! And of course in my life, the infamous Murphy of Murphy’s law always reminding me to keep on my toes!

I also realize that my attitude changed drastically a few months ago and I know that has attributed to my way of living and thinking. It was like I was going through the motions, but letting the challenges of life and some people get in the way of my happiness, hope and health. Once I realized and actually took action to change those things, I felt burdens lift and more positives whisper in my ear than the negatives. I admit I didn’t shut out all of those negative whispers, but I have put them in a special spot so that I can look at them and find the positive and then banish them from my life.

I got so caught up in what I needed to do and the semantics of it that I couldn’t get past it to actually finish the task completely or I would find myself forgetting things entirely. There are several factors that played into this and once I began seeing the knots in my lines, I was able to stop, reflect, write out a plan and move forward to untie the knots and move on with life. I had forgotten the simple tasks of writing down and reflecting on how to handle things. For me those are huge and a part of who I am. It shows how “off” I had been in my head and how far I have come.

another_breathes_last

I have felt somewhat adrift at times for a while now. I know that I have an amazing boy, a fabulous support system, a place to live and other wonderful things. But I was letting the negatives feed on the things in me that I wasn’t happy with, and while on the outside you would see the happy me, on the inside I wasn’t happy completely. I wasn’t at peace with myself and my world. I am so much closer. I know it takes time and patience.

Lord what a challenge patience can be for me. I have gotten better, but when you have others constantly questioning things when you yourself are waiting and trying to be patient is can be hard! Then my anxiety kicks in and I forget that peaceful spot in my soul. However, I am now getting better at redirecting myself. I talked about how I do it in caregiving, yet I wasn’t always practicing in my own life and with myself. Once I snagged that piece of the knotted line and untangled it I have found it easier to breathe. Moving forward is much easier now. I am still scared at times. We never know what the next moment holds. I do know that I am not as fearful or lost as I have been.

I know that there is HOPE for me and my life. I hope that by sharing you can also know that it takes time but dreams, hopes and miracles do happen. Trust me. I am proof!

As soon as I am able I will share the good things happening.

Right now I am sharing my hope that you all have a fabulously wonderful Friday!

Never forget to Keep Hope Alive!

You are worth it to invest in yourself and find your inner peace.

You are not alone.

love heals love is all there is

 

Accidental texting can be fabulously amusing


accidentally send

You know the feeling… that moment you hit send and you think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have sent that text because Lord only knows how it will sound”?! Yeah, I do that on occasion. More often than I should. Most recently I sent my sister-in-law a text after accidentally calling her in which I texted, “OMG I am so sorry I boob dialed you” complete with the little emoticons laughing with tears. Oh yes I sent that. And now I am sharing it here because that is how I am! I never got a response so I am thinking, am I supposed to pretend it didn’t happen? It still makes me laugh! I just can’t help it!

Of course there are other texts that I send and I question if I sound harsh, rude or cold sounding. Text is pretty bare bones. One would think it’s black and white but of course it can’t be that easy!

I recently learned that when I send long text, imagine me getting a bit wordy, that if you don’t have the same type of phone that I have it comes across in broken text boxes. Example: “d anything down or in since his tot’s cake. I have an indoor/out” new box, “door George foreman never used…” You get the idea. It’s like trying to figure out code! I was oblivious this happened to others when I sent longer texts when one of my friends just called me because she said, “You have no idea what it looked like you were trying to say!” We both had a good laugh but I tucked that information in my mind so that going forward, I will try a little harder to not write a short story when texting.

I am also in the category of accidentally texting the wrong person back on occasion. The great part is usually it’s similar to a conversation I was having with them so it’s fine for a text or two, then by the third and fourth back and forth I realize that I have yet again texted the wrong person! Yes, I have embarrassed myself a time or ten with that one.

dead body text

Technology is great and all but sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming. Accidental texting is just one of many things I have done with my smarter-than-me-phone.

It just goes to show, we are all human and all make mistakes. In my case, it tends to be at the amusement of others for the most part. As for my sister-in-law, she never said a word about the text when I saw her!

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

no text n drive