Sometimes I feel like I am constantly apologizing to people for things that are out of my control.
I am sorry I was late there was a wreck and I left in plenty of time. I am sorry you misunderstood me when I said I had an appointment and couldn’t meet yet you showed up anyway and acted put out when I wasn’t in the office. I am sorry you can’t read a map. I am sorry you’re having a bad day. I am sorry that your neighbor smashed your car and you can’t get to work… this happened yesterday and you are calling me 2 hours before you shift? I am sorry that person you really wanted to show up didn’t, maybe they had to work but I’m here for you. I’m sorry your friend can’t have a conversation with a woman unless she is flat chested. It’s not like I am wearing a low cut shirt. I’m sorry you felt my writing was something it’s not. I’m sorry I didn’t word that sweet enough to take the sting out. I’m sorry I can’t hang but I have to work as nights are the only time I can seem to do certain work. I’m sorry that life happened when we were making plans. I’m sorry we can’t go because we don’t have the funds to go and I am not trying to be a Debbie downer.
I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.
I’m sorry that I keep apologizing because after so many times it doesn’t sound sincere.
After saying I’m sorry for so many things in which blame is placed upon me and it truly isn’t my fault I feel like a broken record.
I was born to be a southern belle. The manners, the clothes, the hostess, the endless giving and the suppression of how I feel over how others feel. Some of those things aren’t so bad. And not saying how I really feel to protect other people’s feelings isn’t bad as long as I am not harming them or being untrue to myself. I am a very welcoming and giving person. It wasn’t just the southern upbringing either. If you brought your friends or family to my home and I served a meal and it was too hot I would apologize. If it was too salty or too whatever, I would profusely apologize. *For the record I did not make the southern belle cut. I was too brutally honest but nice and apologized for being so honest!
It’s a disease I have and I am working on curing it!
All too often I find myself and others, mostly women, who tend to apologize to soothe over hurt feelings and to diffuse situations.
I’ve noticed a pattern and when I am with another “apologetic” soul, I see myself when they get to the “let’s make them feel better” stage. Sometimes it makes people feel better and they stop griping about something. Other times a kind word and an apology, even though you both know the one issuing said apology is not the one who is at fault, can make all the difference in how someone’s day plays out.
But the insincere apologies and the apologies for things not our fault have got to stop!
One day you’ll find yourself apologizing to the telemarketer that called during family dinner because you were short with them and they got their feeling hurt. Everyone knows you can get off nicely with them and don’t have to apologize in the process! Since I dabbled in telemarketing and felt horrible about calling at dinner time I get it. However, when one acts rudely and put out because you don’t want to hear their pitch right in the middle of your aunt’s story of finding one of her kids in the dryer, you have to face reality. It’s okay to be nice and polite but to tell them to not call you during those hours. It’s okay to say No you don’t want to buy anything. If they persist tell them you only do business on the 2nd Tuesday of every 4th month during the full moon and to have a nice night. Then gently press the end button.
I’m just saying sometimes I am so over “I am sorry.”
I will keep hope alive that I can break myself of this bad, bad habit!
3 thoughts on “I’m sorry but not and I am working on that”
Thank you for this post. I am a person that will be the first to apologize when I know I am in the wrong or when it is brought to my attention, BUT I feel like I have spent my whole life saying ” I’m sorry” for things beyond my control; I am sorry, I had to work to make a living and couldn’t always be at every function, I’m sorry circumstances weren’t always the best, even though I did the best I could, I’m sorry I’m human and have quirks, I’m sorry I had the nerve to stand up for myself, I’m sorry you had to raise me by yourself, I’m sorry I got sick. Ugh, I am so tired of constantly feeling like I have to say ” I am sorry” because things didn’t turn out the way other people wanted or expected!! So, thank you again for this post 🙂 and to several folks in my life, ” I’m sorry” that I won’t be apologizing any longer for being me, for doing ( within reason) what makes me happy, and for doing whatever it is I have to do to survive with some dignity, and quality of life. Life is too damn short.
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Hahahaha I know we both do this ALL the time! No more “sorry” for things w have no control of or being just Us!
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The best is yet to come; I have hope and faith in that. And whoever says Life does not truly begin at 40! has either not hit 40 or 40+ or is incredibly blind and closed minded and I feel sorry for them!! My body may be wracked to Hades and back, but I would not trade the sense of “self”, the contentment, the wisdom combined with experience that has allowed me to say “NO MORE”, or ” NO, I am NOT sorry for that”, “It was not my fault, nor did I CAUSE you to do that, nor did I ASK for it”!! WE, as well as many of your followers are good, honest, and compassionate people, we are NOT DOORMATS. I hope all your followers DO read this comment. This lady called gracelessnessover40 aka Lady Maos is one of the most REAL people I’ve ever met, and one of my dearest friends. She has so much to offer this world, just by being her unique and quirky SELF. I would not her to change for anything in the world. She has taught me so many things just through her friendship, and support of the quirky, eccentric ME. Listen to her words folks, learn things from a different perspective, laugh, relate and remember to always support and uplift one another, we are all in this thing called LIFE TOGETHER!!!