Fabulous Gracelessness has a freak light. It attracts all sorts of interesting humans. From the completely interesting to the why in the name of mother earth are you telling me your life story from DNA up?!
The other night the boy and I were in a local store. We were checking out the $5 films and an older gentleman was picking up several movies at a time and looking at them. My mistake was asking if he was looking for a particular one and trying to distract the boy from looking at all the toys… seriously didn’t see all the toys right next to the videos, evil marketing people.
The gentleman sees the boy, smiles, and tells me he is only “just looking.” He then proceeds to tell me about how he left his glasses in the car so he had to put them close to his face and mimicked squinting and being silly. We laughed. Then he told the history of his visual degeneration throughout his life. He was 75, because of course, he told me. I could only do laps with the boy in the cart for so long in that area, and between his eye surgery/accident stories and the boy’s “oooo look at that toy mommy” I ended up with 3 movies and skedaddled out of that area as quickly as possible.
I apparently wasn’t paying attention to everything he said because I we saw him a few minutes later and he said, “Such a funny story I’m glad you enjoyed it too!” I just laughed and pushed the cart into the feminine hygiene isle. Usually they won’t follow you over there.
Of course I have had my fair share of freaky encounters there too. Once my friend and I were grabbing something from the area and this, um, lady, asked me very loudly what she needed to make her “privates stop itching inside, ya know?” After questioning her to make sure she didn’t need another type of product, we got her in the right area and tried to escape. She came up behind us gasping from running to “catch up to y’all to jus’ thank you so much for helping her cause no one ever tole her anythin and we was jus so niceeeee”. We could not pay fast enough and the cashiers were dying laughing because she just kept on talking and everyone in the front part of the store soon knew about her yeast infection. Oh yes.
Fly your freak flag proudly but please don’t share all with folks!
There are some things Everyone doesn’t Need to know! Trust me on this!
As I was checking out and discussing what the boy and I needed to do, the cashier started talking to the boy, asking his age, etc. He was of course obliging and talking to her, the flirt, and she started talking about how she was expecting… some sudden switch flipped on and she began this stream of conscious speaking about everything that could have possibly happened since she took the test to “tell you that you’re going to have a baby”.
By the time we left I could only pray the boy wouldn’t ask too many questions as I had to redirect her babble midstream as I could see some things being said I really didn’t want to have to explain to a 5 year old! Fortunately he had movies and a small candy, distraction at checkout, to focus on.
Sometimes people really need to pay attention to who is around them when they go sharing.
At least the boy gets that people seem to just talk to mommy about anything and to not worry unless I get worried.
So I am hoping to have a relatively “share free” weekend and hopefully my freak light won’t burn too brightly!
Hence, the keep hope alive! I’m going to need it!
Have a fabulous day!