Happy fabulous Friday after Thanksgiving!
Know to some as “Black Friday”, of which I am not partaking of thank you very much, but This Friday, today, is the 200th post of Fabulous Gracelessness!
Yes, I have been writing so much that it is now up to 200 on this blog and I have followers! LOL like less than 50, but I have them and I am thrilled with each one. It’s hard to believe people actually enjoy reading what I write and put out into the universe! I know that not everyone likes everything, I may also be a bit delusional but I do know there are some of my posts that weren’t as good as others. Sometimes I go back and read my stuff and think, “what was going on in my maotic, twisted head to write that?!”
Just to clarify, I write how I feel and what I think about life as I see it. Sometimes I will expound upon some subjects with references and information or links to other sites. I write poems and personal essays and thoughts. It can be random and often I get passionate about my thoughts. I know I tend to ramble too! I am working on it.
I had no clue what I was getting into when I decided to blog. I had been laid off work, was recovering from major surgery and was doing a lot of soul searching. I had an active 4, now 5-year-old boy, who I am challenged to keep up with but would not trade anything for him and the bond and love we share. I have always kept journals, I’ve written for several newsletters, written articles, poems, short stories and other random bits. I love to just write. I was writing a few articles and getting paid a tiny bit when I realized I could somewhat come up with things on the fly with a deadline. If I could do that, I certainly could do a blog. I have an amazing friend who kept encouraging me and nudging, without actually screaming to my face haha, to at least try it. I thought how hard could it be to write a blog?
So I jumped.
Free falling does not describe the thrill, frustration yet peace that I get from writing.
It is a challenge to meet my daily post quota. I have learned to plan ahead, and try to keep a few back, which isn’t hard because I have so many things running through my mind I want to write about! It is hard when I haven’t written said topics down and it may or may not be in one of the 5 or 6 notebooks I carry around with me! If I am out and about and a topic comes to mind, I try to write it down. I also use the voice to text for my notes but more times than not I can’t decipher what Simon (the male Siri) took down. I don’t think he understands southern as well as I thought! Sometimes he can be spot on.
Plus there is the time involved to actually do it daily! I want to keep my readers engaged and maybe, just maybe, touch one person and make them think and realize they are not alone.
After all it is my blog and, while I have it, free speech shall flourish here! My thoughts, my mind, my maos, this fabulously, graceless, crazy mama from Alabama whose life motto is Keep Hope Alive! That which does not kill us makes us stronger, but stranger! We are not alone! Life throws us some crazy curves and we have to deal with them the best way we can. We are blessed if we have others in our lives to help us and walk with us along the way!
I never thought my life would go the way it did but I truly couldn’t be happier! Yes, things still stress me out, but I believe that things can and do get better once you get through all the mental crap that tells you that you can’t! You can! It may be hard as hell, and you may just have to walk through it, but you will get out if you Believe in yourself. It is the first step and also can be the hardest.
I started writing my blog when I was basically at a very low place in my life. Writing and holding myself accountable made me want to do it better and keep going.
Since I started writing, I have better relationships with the people in my life, I am still scatterbrained and flaky at times, but I am also finding I am stronger and more organized. It is still a process and it is literally one step at a time many days, but I am moving forward. I wanted to get a job writing and I wanted to take care of people. I got both just a bit differently than I envisioned but it is better than I could imagine. I found love and a peace I haven’t had before. I feel I am a better mama to the boy. I am finding my patience and learning more about the complexities of myself daily. I often pull from personal experience or situations that are close to me. It’s nice to hear friends and family say, “Don’t put this in your blog! Or if you do change my name!” it fulfills me in ways I didn’t know I need to be fulfilled.
So on this Black Friday, I am celebrating with my loves and not shopping… unless it’s for food or maybe ice-cream!
I will keep cranking out my maotic thoughts and working toward the goal of 1,000 posts! Only 800 more to go!
I hope you all have a fabulously wonderful Friday!
As always, Keep Hope Alive!!!
Author: gracelessnessover40
Happy Thanksgiving with all the nostalgia

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my fabulous friends!
I hope you are all somewhere warm and happy with your loved ones, or at least those you can tolerate some!
If you are working on this day of thanks, I thank you. I hope you will get to enjoy with others at some point and time this thankful holiday.
I can’t help but think back to the Thanksgivings when I was younger.
My mom would be shopping for food, planning all week the previous week as well and would begin the cooking at least the day before.
Depending on who was hosting the family Thanksgiving, it could get a bit crazy but we were all happy to be spending time with relatives we got to only see on the Big 3 Holidays, which were back then, Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. We celebrated Memorial Day, the 4th of July and Labor Day as well but those seemed more laid back somehow and the Big 3 were always a labor of love with all of the family and friends attending.
If it was at our house my dad would always be working in the yard and/or moving things where mom needed to ready the house for all of the family who showed up.
The numbers varied but I don’t think it was ever less than 18! If everyone was in town and extended family showed up, plus random friends passing through or without plans, then we could get past 30 people for Thanksgiving! It made for a big circle through the house when it came time for the blessing!

My brother and I had tasks delegated to us of course but it seems like we always complied and were eager to help. It may have been we knew it was getting closer to Christmas and Santa was always watching! I do know that though we thoroughly enjoyed seeing other family and friends, we had signals and plans for every situation that may arise! We did love watching the company come through the doors, but for some of our relatives and friends we didn’t see as often, they were the ones known to pinch cheeks, rub out heads and talk to us as if we were toddlers. So from the ages of about 5, lil bro, and 8, myself, we formed a bond that has lasted a lifetime for surviving large family gatherings! We did a lot of sibling bonding during the family gatherings. As we grew older we talked in code and would make up scenarios and talk them out, laughing hysterically at each other. Only he knows what it’s like from my perspective and only I know his. It makes me more thankful for him. I miss him more on the big 3 holidays if we aren’t able to be together.
Of course, we don’t celebrate the holidays like we once did.
We no longer have the larger family celebrations as so many are no longer with us. Others move on or move away.
I miss the scent of the house with all of the foods and people spreading out everywhere. I miss the laughter and joy, the tears too that were shed as we remembered those who had passed. Yet still giving thanks that we were blessed to have them in our lives and how they impacted us.
There are so many things I miss.
I am also so very thankful that I have the memories of those very things that I miss.

Those parts of me that may be time long gone, but definitely not time forgotten. For you see, they make up the very fabric of who I am and how I see life. Though some perspectives have changed, I can see where others have not drifted from their origins. The parts that remember the smells, the sounds, the emotions and the underlying love and comfort that comes from those nostalgic memories. The ones I will never forget because they are imprinted on my soul.
I love making new memories and foraging new traditions. I love that I will take some of the old and blend with the new. Never forgetting those who taught me the true meaning of Thanksgiving and those still in my life, as well as those who are no longer here. I love sharing my journey with the people in my life now. I love how wherever I have lived I always find a way to share it with others and them share with me. I love that Thanksgiving is a day where you can just be thankful, no matter if it’s old or new traditions. Or maybe it’s a tradition in the making.
I hope you all have a wonderfully fabulous Thanksgiving!
Always Keep Hope Alive!

Thanksgiving Eve

It’s Thanksgiving Eve and we are running around,
Last minute shopping and errands abound.
Our intentions are pure, our plates are too heavy,
We scramble and drop and repair all our levees.
All while smiling & chatting, then we began baking & cleaning.
It is then we understand gratitude’s real meaning.
We plan for tomorrow, but also for the days after.
Just remember my friends, let’s finish this chapter.
We will stay up too late, way into the night,
To make sure our work is a beautiful sight.
We work very hard to make things just right.
We give all we have with all of our might.
We cannot forget why we celebrate this day.
We give thanks for our harvests and a safe place to stay.
We often forget about those who have nothing.
We should share in our feasts, our homes and give something.
Don’t let your heart be hardened with greed,
Please remember there are so many in need.
I ask you to remember in all of your running to not get an attitude,
Please smile and say thank you, for ‘tis the season of gratitude.

Happy ALmost Thanksgiving!

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving.
It is now 2 wake ups away.
There are many posting on social media what they are thankful for each day. People are contemplating recipes, relationships and what they will wear.
Some will be celebrating through the weekend as they could not get together with their loved ones on the actual day.
Some people are still working and some will have to work on Thanksgiving.
Countdown.
I am thankful every day. I am thankful for my boy, those I love, family and friends. I am thankful I finally have a full time job that is close to home. I am thankful I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I am thankful the jeep is still running. I am thankful for all my boyfriend does so much for me. I am thankful for those special friends who do more than ever asked. I am thankful I learned to control my temper years ago… Orange is a fall color but I don’t look good in it! I don’t “post” it on the social media. I am not sure if it is required, but if so, I am breaking that law. I don’t feel the need.
I have 2 recipes to make which won’t be hard but as my friend says, “It so smacks of effort!” They will get made and who knows?! I may bake a cake as well but I am learning to stop over doing it because I am harder on myself than anyone else is.

My relationships with those I love and care for are good for those keeping track. The boy is my world and I love that pretty much everyone in my world gets to enjoy his existence with me.
Fashion is not my thing. If things come together well that is fabulous. I am sure that folks sometimes stare at my wild, crazy hair and whatever clean ensemble I grabbed up. Not that I don’t actually make an effort to look decent but I have no idea of designers or color shades. I sometimes wear the makeup and again, my wild, wild hair that I usually pull up because let’s just face it, much easier! Although it keeps my head warm in the winter!
I have to work, of course, no matter if with a client or for myself it seems I have work to do. I am learning how to go easier on myself and not push too far.
Countdown.
2 wake ups and it’s Thanksgiving.
The next day we go crazy and fight others for material items after a day of thanks.
Not me! I am going to take the boy somewhere fun and will be doing no shopping!
I hope you all have a fabulous day!!!
Keep hope alive!
Maotically, Murphy filled Mondays
I swear the maotically weird day started because the man walking his dog hexed me. He put his bad juju on me because he thought I was interrupting his morning walk. Honestly I was just trying to leave my neighborhood and make it to work on time. I was patiently waiting for him to, illegally, cross the street with his cute dog who wasn’t on a leash. I would never hit an animal! Or anything else if I can help it especially before 8:00 AM, I mean the coffee is barely got me conscious!
I was a few minutes behind but the traffic was light I was going to make it! My GPS was on and I didn’t have school drop off so my route would be shorter.
Then Murphy steps in. “Keep going for the next 4 miles” says my GPS man Simon. Yo Simon, the road is Closed! Why wasn’t that in there! Doesn’t the wolfen update the maps nightly or something?!
Since I once drove that route for over 10 years I figured it would be no problem… right! I forgot how many red lights there were. Then I got on the open road and well opened up, praying all the while to not be late, to get there safe and without a good driving award for my speed skills.
I made it to work only 5 minutes late and still shaking a bit over the drive there which got a bit hairy towards the end. But I made it!
I worked my 10-hour shift and enjoyed my client’s company. We watched Alabama slaughter that other team and then it was time for me to go.
I had my bags and cooler ready. I just couldn’t find my keys.
It seems when I ran out earlier to grab one of my notebooks, I put the key on the seat, locked the door and went back inside. Sometimes I wonder what my brain is actually processing, like why I put the key on the seat in the first place and not in my pocket?! I do not need to work shifts this long with not a lot of sleep and having had back procedures two days prior. But I needed the funds!
I learned that if the window is cracked and I use a coat hanger, I can open my door. I was impressed with myself but a little freaked at how easy it was. Note to self, don’t leave windows cracked unless you know no one else can get in!
Finally I was headed home! After a call to mom, my man and then getting fuel for the Jeep because it was cheaper on that side of town, I began my drive back home in the dark with the GPS leading the way. I thought, somehow, that it would remember the way I went that morning and the road closures. No such luck. Did I mention it was dark?! I have a bit of night blindness and my contacts felt glued to my eyeballs. I knew Murphy was having fun with me again. Of course the signs aren’t on the road I was on for the detour and I ended up going around in circles praying I would find my way!
I finally recognized a road that I knew led to home and called my boyfriend, who since I was running so late, was meeting me at a local restaurant. I asked him to please order me a strong drink. He already had! I don’t drink much or often but sometimes I need something a bit harder than sweet tea to get me through!
I finally made it home and got a little work done after a nice relaxing dinner.
Of course I was up the next day because you know, no rest for the wicked!
Tomorrow is another day. I still don’t get to sleep in like I want to! I may just hibernate this winter. I wonder if the boy and everyone would want to just get a nice, warm cave away from it all and hibernate? Not such a bad idea!
I hope you all have a wonderful week! It’s a short holiday week so you can make it.
Keep Hope Alive!
Who takes care of those who have no one?
Working in the field I do, I often wonder, who takes care of those with no families? I think of how challenging it must be to find good help for our older generation. Most people are on a fixed income of some sort and filling out forms and documents are challenging for anyone, no matter what their income is.
A friend of mine and I were discussing the filling out of Medicare forms and how if you leave one little thing off or check the wrong box, it throws the whole application off and you have to basically start over.
It is beyond frustrating for people who are completely cognitive and somewhat able to follow the convoluted directions given, whether online or written; however, for someone who has no one to ask or turn to for help, it would be a complete nightmare. It is a nightmare for many who know what they are doing and who can do it themselves or have families, but what about those who don’t? What happens to those people?
Have you ever visited a nursing home or assisted living? Have you seen the people in the common rooms and hallways who don’t know you but always wave and smile at you like you are a ray of sunshine on a rainy afternoon after long days of storms? Chances are half of those people have no one. No family or close friends. Their contact is with the caregivers, residents and people who come to the facility for entertainment or to see others.
Any time I am going through to see someone I make it a point to say hello to everyone I see. I wave or say hello depending. Sometimes I know a lengthy conversation can ensue and I know how to handle that situation yet I still open myself up for conversation. One thing I always get is a smile or hello in return. I was even asked to a dance and also a marriage proposal from one of those hellos!
Recently I decided it was time to change my insurance for myself and the boy. Since I no longer work for a corporation, when I was let go, I was given the option of cobra insurance. For those not in the know, it is the same plan you had, just at a much higher premium and coverage lasts for anywhere from one to two years. I had the two-year option, but it is too high so I am finally getting around to changing it. I also was making an appointment for a MRI and checking to see if the dental insurance I pay out the wazoo for had paid for a regular office visit from July. I was on the phone for 5 1/2 hours! And I get to call back on the insurances and MRI next week because of course things can’t be done when some folks say they will be done.
I was so very frustrated and still am. It’s annoying as hell and I have to make myself stop and ask myself again, “Who does this for people who have no one?”
Every one of the people I have cared for have families. Even if it’s “extended” family they have someone(s) that can help them out through most of the madness.
That includes getting groceries, toiletries, cleaning, help with bills, finances, insurance.
I have seen people who have families that you would expect to be helping but then don’t and the person ends up losing a car or getting their power or phones turned off simply because the bill wasn’t paid. There was money in the bank but the bills were not paid. They are supposed to have someone yet no one was paying attention to them knowing they need help. That straight up angers me to the core.
Again, I wonder, who helps those who cannot do for themselves?
I have purchased food for families standing in the grocery store parking lot. I have cried with them as I gave them what I would have considered “not much” but then they had nothing and were so grateful to have something to cook for their family and promised me they could “make it work.”
I volunteer with a local group who helps provide children with Christmas and things people may be in need of throughout the year. I believe there were 2 or 3 house fires and countless people losing their jobs as well as family members taking on children for other family members. People who need immediately and there isn’t always an option to wait for assistance from the local or state government.
When I hear of someone in need and know of something I or someone I know can do to help I get make it happen. It may not be everything they need but they are grateful for the step in the direction of something.
But it still isn’t enough!
Right now we are facing hunger, poverty, homelessness and people without medical care in our own communities.
We are also being asked to help others who are seeking refuge from evils in their own homes and communities. There is a split census on what should be done about these humans who did not choose to be driven from their homes and country. Some believe we can give help somewhere closer to their home country. Others believe we should allow them into our country and communities.
It is still the same question, who takes care of those who cannot take care of themselves?
To my knowledge, we don’t choose where we are born and our circumstances. If that was the case no one would choose to be born into hunger, poverty, tyranny, have no medical care or nowhere to home. No one would choose to be born into violence, hatred, servitude or oppression.
I know and understand taking care of oneself is a challenge. Taking care of yourself and your family adds even more stress. But I also can’t help but think of those that I can help in addition to myself and my loved ones. It may be in small ways, maybe not all the time but I can still make a difference.
I pray that others will feel their humanity and find it within themselves to help just one person this week. Not to “look good” by being philanthropic but to do it because it’s the right thing to do.
It is something which is a whole lot better than nothing!
Signing off giving y’all some food for thought and a boat load of happiness on this fine, cold Sunday!
I hope you all have a fabulous day!
Keep Hope Alive!!!!
Lady Maos
Watching the world…. driving and being the passenger
As I it in the passenger seat I watch the world go by.
Since I drive so much, sometimes it is nice to sit back and let someone else drive so I can watch the view.
The perspective from passenger to driver, I’ve learned, can be vastly different.
Driving, I am always aware of the cars around me and sometimes miss the scenery because I have to pay attention to the other drivers, the road and keeping it between the lines. I do get to see and enjoy the beautiful scenery sometimes, but not as much as when I get to sit back and ride. I enjoy driving but I also enjoy not having to drive… depending on who is driving!
As the passenger, I am not only free to watch the scenery, but the other drivers we pass and the little things you miss when you have to drive.
The pretty flowers on the right side of the road, the peculiar looking human staring at you from the next lane, the buildings and businesses off the road.
On long drives, especially if I am on country back roads, I tend to look for the animals in the trees, the ones in the pastures and the homes of others. I always wonder what kind of people live there and what they are doing at that very moment. I sometimes make up stories in my head about them. I admit I do this while driving too if I am alone and the road is long.
I love singing to the radio and I equally love the sound of the tires on the pavement with no other noise but road noise.
When I’m in traffic, I will often crack my window to hear the music and occasional conversations of other commuters who have let their windows down. Often I hear a song I love and try to find it on my radio, and if I can’t, have been known to sing along, and loudly, to the other person’s radio!
I learned to drive at a young age, out in the country, three on a tree and then later in the parking lot of the local college. I loved the feeling of freedom that driving gave me. It still does, though I have to remind myself of it the more I age!
Sometimes it seems like I live in my car, running from place to place, between work, the boy, errands and things we need. I keep extra food, tissues, jackets, toys and wipes in my Jeep in case we happen to get stuck for a while. My friends joke it’s like I am prepared for the apocalypse with all the crap I carry around. Maybe I am. Or maybe I just like to be prepared.
After living in Atlanta for nearly 11 years, I knew it wouldn’t be a short ride to wherever I was going, and I guess I really started carrying so many provisions when I was living there. Since moving back home, I find I am often early and with time on my hands, I might as well have that snack I packed because it will be a while until I get to eat!
So when I get into someone else’s car, with my many bags, and they ask me why I need all that “crap” I can say I am prepared for almost anything! No one complains when I hand out drinks, snacks or crayons. And I’ve never hear nary a complaint when the googly eyes come out… who doesn’t love to put googly eyes on things?!
I hope you all have a fabulous day!
Keep Hope Alive!
Happy Birthday Daddy… dreams do come true and I miss you
Dear Daddy,
Today is 6 months of writing my blog on a daily basis! I am so proud of myself. You always taught me I could do anything and to do right by others. I am trying so hard and feel you around me all the time. Because of my writing I feel I have unlocked a door that I had forgotten about. One crucial to my essential being. By telling me to be true to myself I have found myself again. I found strength I didn’t know I had. Thanks to encouragement from family and special friends, remembering you and Grandmama always telling me to follow my heart and dreams, I am living my dream!
Today is your birthday. The second one since you’ve been gone. To say I miss you and your love and wisdom is an understatement. I would give anything for a hug and a kiss from my daddy just one more time. The words you always to me, to hear your voice again and feel your arms around me always made me know I was going to be ok.
There is so much going on in my life and in the world and I need your guidance and love more than ever. I hope you are proud of me and what I am doing. I remember your words of always stand up for others and to not be afraid because you knew deep down when you are doing the right thing.
I take comfort in our conversations we shared at random times throughout my life. Some were short, some were long but all were of value. All of the wisdom and the stories you shared with me, the way you understood and even respected my rebel side, I miss these things. I miss you.
You let me fly and also taught me how to be humble and respect every living being. You encouraged me when I know it had to be hard to do so. You also always loved me no matter what I said or did. I know there were times you didn’t like me as much and looking back, I can’t blame you. I wasn’t the easiest child to raise and I can be a bit stubborn and willful I know! You taught me to control my temper when I was young and I know that was no cake walk. You showed me how to channel my anger to find solutions to help myself and others along the way. You shared with me how to work through hurt, rage and fear. You always stood up for me even when it was hard to do. You never gave up on me and you always were there for me.
I wish you were here with us, our family. You have two amazing grandsons and my boy has already started telling his cousin about Pops and how wonderful you are. We all miss you and feel the ache so deeply. We are taking care of Mom as we would have no matter if we promised or not. You instilled in us the joy and challenges of family and how we stick together no matter what.
The legacy of family, friends and business you left is awe inspiring.
Oh Daddy I wish we could spend another day, another hour together. I know I would want more time. We all do.
I am so thankful and grateful you were always there for me for 43 years of my life.
It’s been one year, eight months and 11 days since we last saw you. I know you are free and whole again. I have to believe it. I know that your body is no longer ravaged by an insidious disease that could no longer be controlled. I know you no longer hurt.
They say time heals all wounds and that it gets easier. I’m sorry if I can’t see it that way. I didn’t always live in the same state and sometimes we would go a bit before talking or seeing each other but you were always There. I am better about not breaking down or breaking down in front of everyone, though sometimes it happens. I get overwhelmed by the fact that the first love of my life is no longer on this planet. It hurts my heart and soul.
They boy talks about you all the time with me. He believes we should be able to get you in heaven and go over the rainbow bridge and see Jethro. He tells me that Jethro has you throwing tennis balls to him and he’s sure you are giving him slices of the square cheese because he loves it. I love that he keeps your memory alive by talking about you.
I need to end this letter now but I know you are watching over us. I feel you with me and us so many times.
I love you, Daddy, with all my heart.
Thank you for always believing in me and my dreams and never giving up on me.
I miss you more than I will ever be able to put into words.
Always,
Your little girl
Being responsible
Once you get to a certain point in your life you have to take responsibilities for things in your life. You can’t always blame others because something you wanted didn’t work out. You can’t shun your responsibilities because you don’t like someone and they make you “mad”.
When you have a child or children the responsibilities grow. Even if you aren’t the “full time” parent or you are “co-parenting”, you have to communicate so that you are doing what is best for your child/children and not what is best for you. You may not like the other parent, but if they are present in your child’s life you have to make the best of things, suck it up and get along.
I have heard so many stories, and live through my own, of single parenting. It is not easy no matter how hard you try you it seems you will always feel guilt. Recently the boy had seen a preview for one of those Disney on Ice events and wanted to go. I looked into and it is only playing during the time he is with his dad. So I told him to ask them to take him. I feel like he might but he explicitly wants me to go. I can’t exactly explain to my 5-year-old that his dad is not my biggest fan and that I can’t just take him during a time when he is supposed to be with his dad. Instead I advise him to ask his dad or his grandparents and promise him I will find something for us to do. When pressed I remind him his dad and grandparents miss him and wants to spend time with him like I do.
I realize that I am fortunate in that right now my son and I are very close. When his dad and I split up, I realized how hard it was going to be on him to not have both parents “there” all the time. He is my miracle boy and we have a bond that runs deep.
I have been consistent in how I talk to him, work with him and keep some semblance of a schedule for him. I communicate with his dad and grandparents as to what I am doing so that if they so desire, they can do something similar. He knows he has different rules depending on where he is. The fact that he is only 5 is often lost when he comes out with adult insights that most adults can’t see. He has been in situations of loss that most people don’t experience quite so early in life and has come out rather well balanced. I am not being biased as his teachers and doctors have agreed that he is quite amazing and have handled situations with a maturity of a much older child while still maintaining his little boy ways.
Most of all he knows I love him no matter what and that his mommy will always be there for him if I am able. He doesn’t doubt it. He knows he can depend on me. Earlier this year I had major surgery. He does karate one day a week and it’s a day that every other week he is with either myself or his dad. I go to every class. Since he started 9 months ago I have only missed 3 classes and all were due to medical reasons. He knows he can look up week after week and his mommy will be there, whether he’s going home with me or not, supporting him and cheering him on.
When you’re responsible for children, you can’t always act on your emotions. You may not realize how much what you do impacts that child and children can be more insightful than you realize. You may think your little wild child isn’t paying attention to your conversation with your friends, but when he ends up blurting out bits and pieces over the next few weeks at inappropriate times, you realize just how much he listened! He can’t repeat back to you what just came out of your mouth when he’s supposed to be learning yet he can quote verbatim a conversation you had with your friends and had no idea he was listening. It’s freaky. True Story!
I guess I am just trying to say we all have responsibilities on varying levels. I just wish more people would stand up to what they need to do even if it means sucking it up and being “nice” to someone you are quite so fond of for the sake of others. Not just a child. But people that matter to you.
I hope you all have a fabulous day!
Keep Hope Alive!
Judge not lest ye be judged…or no one is perfect!
Lately I have noticed more judgement being passed on others. Not opinions but judgement.
In the Christian faith, and I will paraphrase, there is a verse, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” I am seeing is that there are many Christians that are doing the judging. Though to be honest, I am seeing a lot many people of all backgrounds who judge. I don’t understand that. For real, it does not compute with me.
I do not know anyone who is perfect. Seriously. Being perfect is being without flaw.
I don’t know one person who is truly without any flaws. One of the main problems I have with this is, again, who is someone else to judge others?
I understand laws, not that I agree with all of them, but I understand, respect and follow them. Of course I would never walk my cow down the middle of main street after 6 PM! There are some out of date laws on the books, but I will follow the law. That would be an entertaining one to break though, not that I am planning nor condoning the breaking of laws but that one makes me laugh!
What I have issue with are judgements because of disagreements. Disagreement on lifestyle, clothing, food, whom you should be with, when/if you should pray, maybe some think you shouldn’t pray so they judge because you do. Maybe your speech sounds funny or different so someone will judge you on that. Maybe they judge you on what I call the partials… they see a partial piece of your life so they therefore feel they know you and somehow that makes them master of judging you.
There is a fine line between judging and advising or suggesting.
Many times people don’t realize they are judging, they may feel as they are suggesting, but their tone and words sound so very harsh it is hard to think any other way. “You really should wear the other shirt that one makes you look fat.” To me that’s a judgement. And my girlfriends better tell me in a nicer way if something makes me look fat! Saying it like this sounds so much better. “You know that other shirt looks so much better on you. Why don’t you wear that one instead?” If I chose to wear said fat shirt, it is my choice and not for anyone to judge me.
That really is a lighter example of judging but hopefully it gets the point across! I have people that say I should get a bit more in depth with what I say and others say I say too much.
You can have opinions, strong one, just make sure not to blur the line of opinion and judgement. You don’t know what all is going on in the life of someone you so thoughtlessly pass judgment on. They may have lost a loved one, had a child melt down, lost their job so they aren’t in top form when running out the door. Their clothing choice is not for you to judge. The car they drive is not for you to judge.
You saw someone you know talking with “known criminals” so you assume and judge them. What if they were helping them, witnessing to them or sharing with them a better way to live their life? Yet you decided you “know” what’s going on so you judge. Then you tell others. Not only have you judged, but you have gossiped and most likely spread lies. How does that make you a better person?
I have seen people judged for their sex, their skin color, their political views and the church they do or do not attend. They are judged for their choice in friends.
Trying to raise a child in these conditions are challenging. It seems daily I am having to give my boy a different perspective and teach him how to not judge others. I admit I am not perfect. He now tells cars turning without signaling and going to slow to “Use your signal and own your turn!” Anyone who says kids don’t pay attention doesn’t pay attention to them! But he understands name calling, using the words fat, stupid and idiot regarding others will get him in time out faster than Superman can fly to the top of the tallest building.
So I ask you, do your best to not judge others. After all, when you point your finger at others to judge them, you have four fingers pointing back at you.
Have a fabulous day and Keep Hope Alive!







