Happy Football Saturday!

November 7, 2015November 6, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Happy football Saturday!

Here in sweet home Alabama it is a Big football day for the Crimson Tide!

We play LSU and I have to say to my LSU friends, I love you but we need to understand it’s a game and I will be hollering Roll Tide no matter what the outcome of the game is all day and night. It is the way it is.

Maybe because when I was younger I went to an Alabama vs LSU game with my sister, her dad and brother. Alabama was losing badly and when we scored 3 points I jumped up screaming and hollering, happy my team had scored at all, when this absolutely ass of a fan next to me screamed for me to sit down and shut up. Shocked I sat down but still clapped, looking sideways to my left at this jerk of a human. It was a football game. I was used to the rivalry between Alabama and Auburn. I enjoyed it and whomever won I’ve always enjoyed the games. I know that we were playing poorly but come on, I wasn’t up in his face like he was mine taunting me about how crappy my team was. (Actually it was pretty raunchy and I was about 14 so it was kind of shocking to me but I played it cool.) It seems I wasn’t the only one watching him. Both LSU and Bama fans were watching as were my sister’s father, brother and security.

When we scored again getting us a tiny bit closer to their lead I lept up screaming with glee! That’s when the shit got real. Mr. LSU Jerk of the Year jumped up and grabbed my arm and screamed, “I told you to sit down and shut up!” He also included a few more adjective I won’t subject y’all to but you get the drift. The next thing I knew I felt my body being lifted and pulled to the right, saw people approaching from all sides, and then saw him lift his arm to hit someone, but he quickly went down! He was escorted from the game by officers. I was a bit shaken up but continued to scream for my team even though we lost that game.

The ride home was surreal. It seems Big J, sister’s “dad” and Little J, her brother, had moved her and got to me in seconds and were going for the jerk. Apparently, unbeknownst to them, security and several fans, of both sides, were waiting for him to blow and jumped into action when he grabbed me and started screaming at me. I will forever be grateful to all of those folks who jumped to my rescue.

I continue to look sideways at crazy football fans after that experience. Being from the south, I understand how important football is. How being loyal and believing in a team can feel. You share your wins and losses and always remain true. Well most people! I understand the rivalry and the thrill of it. The good natured teasing and hopefully claiming the champion title. I GET IT! I do.

But sometimes folks take it way too far. They get mean. They really hate people for their love for another team and their loyalty saying they can’t understand why they love that team so much when theirs is so much better. I have to wonder if they don’t look at themselves for that answer and reverse the question! Then sometimes that take it way to far, like grabbing a kid because they don’t want the other team to score at all even though their team is beating the crap out of them. They don’t want Anyone on that team to have any happiness and joy so they try their damnedest to control it.

Guess what? It never works out well.

I did learn there are some great LSU fans out there. Quality folks who I have met, befriended and enjoy the usual rival during football time. No matter who wins, we always have our friendship.

I guess I am trying to say no matter who your team is and who you are playing or don’t like, remember there are real people on both sides that care not only about the game, but other people as well. So when you say you hate *insert team* you are saying that you hate everyone that stands with them. Then you are ostracizing an entire group of people over a football game. You could be missing out on potential friends, spouse or employers. Now due to your hate you could possible damage happiness in your own life. Not such a good idea and definitely not healthy!

So everyone let’s try to remember we are all human and this is a game.

That being said ROLL TIDE BABY! Let’s bring it one! No matter what let’s have Fun!

Always Keep Hope Alive!

TGIF… We made it!

November 6, 2015November 6, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

T.G.I.F!

Can I get an amen and a halleluiah?!

I feel like I have struggled to get here and have finally begin making headway on getting things in order…somewhat! I mean I’m fabulously graceless and Murphy loves me so some things have to go a bit off! But being my OCD me I just try to plan for it so when it doesn’t happy I am pleased. When it does I still stress! However, no matter what today is going to be a fabulous day! I chose to believe that and I hope you do too!

Keep Hope Alive My Fabulous Friends!

Much happiness and peace,

Lady Maos

A little corner of my mind

November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 4 Comments

Come with me and hold my hand.

Take me with you to the promise land.

Hold on tight don’t let me go.

For you see the things I do not know.

I don’t know want to walk alone.

I don’t know how to be all grown.

I wonder when I will learn these things.

They tell me to raise my voice and sing.

I guess I’ll smile and nod my head.

Pretend this feeling is not of dread.

I will hold my head high as the show must go on.

But in my soul I know the road is long.

On the horizon I see great things, I know I will get through this pain.

It won’t be just me in my thoughts and mind, I will have others to help me this time.

Ones I know will always be true, no matter what, through and through.

As I mature and learn through the strife, I have uncovered the joy and hope in my life.

So see if you have hope, a bit of faith and pray, you will make it through another day.

*I hope you enjoyed my poetry as I enjoy writing it. Sometimes it takes longer and other times it flies right out but I don’t always share it right away and sometimes I keep it for myself or the person it was written for. I have come to realize it’s very cathartic for me to share as I get more and more messages as to others feeling similarly as I do. It’s nice to know others can relate and even compliment my thoughts.

Have a fabulously fantastic Thursday!

Keep Hope Alive!

Delicate balance of fall and winter

November 4, 2015November 4, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

I love the fall and I love the changing of the seasons, the leaves as they fall in mass yet still there are beautiful colors of the trees. The thunderstorms and cooler temperatures.

I do not like the migraines, aching body and the sometimes dark places I can go in my mind when it’s rainy and icky out, I feel overwhelmed and it’s cold.

Yes, those statements could seem a bit contradictory but yet there aren’t. To me it’s a delicate balance. I love Halloween, Thanksgiving and the Christmas holidays but not always the chaos that comes with it. Some of the over the top, and not a la Grizwald style as they are hands down coolest ever when it comes to Christmas decorating, but it’s some traditions and people get to me though.

I Love Halloween. I love to decorate, wear costumes, watch scary movies and do the whole gauntlet from fall festivals and pumpkin patches to haunted houses.

The following month we have Thanksgiving and the month after Christmas. Yes, I am pretty sure everyone knows that but when you look at it in a broader picture it makes more sense why I, and many others, often become crabby, distant or just weird during what is one of our favorite seasons.

You go from fun and dress up, to Thanksgiving with Christmas falling less than a month later.

Thanksgiving, for many, means travel, cooking and volunteering. All fun under most circumstances, however it can be stressful if you are spending a portion with some you aren’t so fond of, don’t know well, or you are missing someone you once spent holidays with. The same can be said of Christmas.

Plus, it is now a fact that Christmas and Thanksgiving supplies can be purchased and are displayed at many stores in October and in some places, as early as August. I would not be lying if I said that I didn’t want to punch someone in the throat when I went into a local store and Christmas carols were playing and the Christmas section was larger than the Halloween section…it was the very beginning of October! Here in Alabama it was still warm and not even close to time, in my graceless mind, to be displaying Christmas items, especially when they took away things for the fun holiday that was still over 3 weeks away!

People post on social media the countdown to Christmas and have since last Christmas. I love Christmas too and yes, after Christmas sometimes get things for the following year when the sales happen, however I am not a Christmas tree up all year kind of gal. I have been known to keep up festive lights and just call them “holiday fairy” lights throughout a year. That all depends on where you are living and how well it works and if it looks good or just plain odd!

I remember when I was younger and you shopped for Christmas presents the day after Thanksgiving. The real Black Friday. Now you have stores open on Thanksgiving night and the week of online specials. I noted that those run for about 3 weeks! The Only places that were opened and you could go to on Thanksgiving and Christmas night were are few gas stations and the theater. I worked at the theater in my teens and we could get time and a half if we worked on a holidays. There were so many families that came to the movies as a family for on those two days more than any other day of the year. This was before cell phones and having to schedule in time with the family. It was something you just did.

I am all about bargain shopping but this is too much! People need at least 2 days a year to celebrate with friends and family. A holiday that along with all government offices are closed, businesses are closed so that people can truly get a day off. I understand hospitals, care facilities and the like will of course have people working. We take care of each other. But it’s time to enjoy and reflect in my opinion.

I can understand why people can go into a funk during this time of the year. I know there are many reasons, but I truly think we now place too much on ourselves and each other and don’t take the time out to actually relax and enjoy the holiday before we begin jumping into the next holiday. I understand getting jump on Christmas shopping but give the rest of us time to enjoy the holidays as they come in the order they come. You may want to try it. It can be fun!

Just sharing the thoughts and opinions of my maotic mind!

As always, keep hope alive!

Also, Happy 95th to my Guardian Angel Papa, It’s been 5 years since you left us yet I see you in my boy, your great grandson daily. I will always love you!

We can make it through… just never give up

November 3, 2015November 3, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

I know I can. I know I can. I know I can.

Every breath I take. Every move I make.

Is one step closer to achieving something I need to get done.

One step at a time.

It may be a slow step, but it is a step none the less.

I can do it.

I believe in myself.

I know me.

I have faith.

I can make others believe it too.

Just a bit of faith and hope and pixie dust.

Never give up.

Keep hope alive.

Maybe motivational Monday

November 2, 2015November 2, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Greetings and Happy Monday My Fabulous Friends!

I hope you all had an awesome weekend! I know our household was full up and in gear for Halloween and the sugar detox Sunday. Of course the boy is thrilled to have so much candy. He had me help him separate it yesterday with the stuff he likes, chocolate and stuff none of us will eat! He won’t eat the chocolate but knows others like it. I am trying so hard to stay away from the chocolate bucket of candy! I was never a big sweet person until after I had my hysterectomy and then it was like my taste buds craved the stuff. Not so fabulous… that saying a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips seems to be coming true so I am trying to only eat in moderation when it comes to sweets, including chocolates!

Ahhh the rainy Monday again too. Ugh. I know how much we need the rain but it can be a challenge to drive in and get out in. I know work today will be especially challenging with the weather since we always get out and about! Hopefully we will get to go to the knitting guild and they can see how poorly I am doing on my scarf! They inspire me to work harder. I mean it is only one scarf but finding extra time seems to be one of my biggest challenges lately.

I feel I am letting everyone down by not getting things done. I am trying! I am also job hunting, like I ever stopped, but the blog doesn’t pay my bills and my current job is part time with shabby pay, though I love my work. There just isn’t enough of it. My dream is to write and take care of others. Sadly, caring for people doesn’t pay well. It makes me angry that we pay people so little who care for our children and the elderly, as well as those in between who need help.

Trying to live and raise a 5-year-old isn’t cheap! I scrimp and save every way that I can. When I make a purchase sometimes I get looks due to the fact I don’t have much money. I can promise you I have thought about what I need to sacrifice to purchase said item and the flack I will get for spending. No one likes people to criticize them for their life and I am pretty sure unless you are in a court of law or standing before your maker that judging others is frowned upon, yet people tend to forget that.

There are so many times when I wish I could just wave a magic wand and fix things. Or maybe win the lottery! That would work too. Then I could do the things I love, which are not high paying jobs, and enjoy life. Instead we are expected to get a job, any job, it doesn’t matter if you are miserable doing it, to make money and pay bills. It’s a vicious cycle that I am trying to find my way away from.

Today I have hope that things will be better. I will find the time to make my many doctors’ appointments, clean the house and find a “real” job, or at least something that pays more so I don’t have to ask for assistance. I am so grateful for the help but I despise asking. If it wasn’t for my child I wouldn’t worry so much. I have always been able to care for myself, but when you bring a child into the world, you are responsible for them. Giving up things I once thought I needed was easy for me when I had him. I’ve never been one to purchase costly clothing, unless it was second hand. I have never had the newest car nor do I want one. I did stop buying random items that I didn’t need any more and started actually using the coupons I cut out instead of forgetting them! In fact, it is one of my many projects to go through the Sunday paper this week and get out the coupons I need. I have decided it may be worthwhile to invest in a milk cow since the boy seems to drink a few gallons a week. Hey it saves me money on sodas!

So yes, I am motivated this week! I am working and never losing hope, even when I get in a funk. To lose hope, to me, means to give up, and I am not giving up!

I hope you have a motivational Monday and never lose hope!

Always keep hope alive!

Happy November, All Saints Day and Day of the Innocents/Day of the Dead

November 1, 2015October 31, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Welcome to the first day of November, All Saints Day and the Day of the Innocents, the first day of Day of the Dead.

I hope everyone has recovered from their Halloween shenanigans and that you are thus far having a fabulous day.

We also did the changing of the clock and fell back an hour. I am not sure how I feel about it yet but will keep you posted!

Here in sweet home Alabama we are getting some much needed rain and our temperatures are getting more fall like. Of course this is Alabama so it could be rainy and cold today and get warm again this week! I personally hope we get to keep the cool weather around for a bit. I love the fall weather. Our trees are still changing and beautiful. Daily it seems there is a colorful carpet in the yard yet our trees still have beautiful colors and leaves left to fall. It’s that in-between phase where they have changed colors but not yet completely and although some trees are a bit more barren than others, we still have a good amount of leaves on the trees. The contrast is amazingly beautiful.

It is also Sunday, what some consider a day of rest. I am hoping to get some things done to ready for the upcoming week and also rest! I am hoping that the boy will be down for a low key day today. After all of the running we did yesterday, he needs a day of rest before jumping back into a “regular” week! After all, he got to dress up for the past 3 days! Today we all may be in a bit of a sugar coma. We don’t eat a lot of sugar so the past few days have been like a free for all in the candy department!

I wish you all a fabulously, beautiful Sunday!

Always remember to keep hope alive!

Stay Fabulous!

Lady Maos

Happy Halloween!!!

October 31, 2015October 30, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Also, Happy All Hallows’ Eve, Allhallowee’en and All Saints’ Eve!

I have loved Halloween since I was a little girl. My parents must have known because every year since I was born I have dressed up. The only exception was the year my son was born as he was born mid-September and on Halloween I felt I looked scary enough and dressing up was not on my list of survival mode at that time! I did enjoy watching others & seeing the decorations, but I was too tired and overwhelmed to participate. I bought a t-shirt for me and a onesie for the boy. However, I recovered and have celebrated and included him on the Halloween tradition every year since. He loves putting on or making up costumes and I love that he creative and often pulls a bit of different characters to make one super cool character that he then portrays.

I love that he loves pumpkin carving and hayrides.

I love that we watch “scary” movies together.

But let’s get real. He is 5. There are some things I can’t let him watch yet because they scare me and I am so sure he would be terrified for months watching the horror movies I watch!

He’s been watching Monster Mash videos on my phone, a true perk as I am not down with shoving my phone to my kid since technology goes wonky on me not taking the chances with him – sorry to digress… ahem.

Last night he wanted to watch another video and since we were stuck in a traffic jam, as he calls it, I found the longer “Thriller” video with the dancing, mini movie and Vincent Price and let him view it while I drove, repeating it and semi doing the driver dance moves for Thriller. The boy was thoroughly enjoying it, even the “scary” bits but laughing saying, “It’s pretend scary but it’s soooo good Mommy! I love it! Why haven’t I seen this before now?!” I know, I am a freak raising a mini freak! It’s already dark here at 6:45 PM so I am hopeful not too many witnessed it as I still had my devil horns on and was singing away loudly with the windows cracked! It must have been entertaining enough as I saw the construction crew at the exit ramp do a few of the moves from the song so I lowered the windows for a few minutes to let them enjoy it too! Spread the joy and the fun wherever you go!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA

We are going to a few festivals and then, of course, trick or treating! We are hoping the rain doesn’t come in until later but I promise you I am prepared for rain too! This Fabulously Graceless Crazy Mama is going to take her boy trick or treating no matter what!

I will have to put up some photos on a later post! Here is one from last year and what I wore to the boys Halloween party yesterday at school!

I hope you all have a fun, fantastic and Fabulous Halloween!

Always Keep Hope Alive!

I hope you get more treats than tricks, and if you get them, the tricks are fabulous!

The Friday before Halloween!

October 30, 2015October 30, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

It’s almost here! Halloween! And its Friday, the day before Halloween!

Last night we had a trial run so to speak. The boy and I went to a local assisted living and he got to trick or treat. He was a red ninja with devil horns, yes I laughed as I got 2 pair of the devil horns at the dolla store for an adult without a costume on Halloween. I am a bit enthusiastic about Halloween! I also wore a pair of the horns. Like from when we left the house until after we got home including at the gas station! The residents got to visit with the children and everyone had a fabulous time! It was so much fun and there was a big turnout of children. It meant so much to the people living there to get to enjoy children dressed up and the kids had a safe environment and adoration by everyone they met. He made a lot of new friends and got a lot of candy for about 45 minutes of visiting with folks! I finally met the gentleman who’s always asking me for a date! He said, “Hey you’re the cutie from the day room I see and you were here today. Wait, that one’s not mine! Let me just give y’all some candy! I love your shirt and your horns!” It was fabulous!

Today is the boy’s Halloween party at school. I am still not sure what he is going to choose but it’s between Batman, a Ninja turtle, Red Power Ranger (or blue, why not?) or the red ninja costume… he has options. I have decided to go as the pink power ranger. I know I said “never again” but these are kids and they will get a kick out of it! Only I will wear my black cowboy boots instead of the “cute” white go-go like boots I got to go with the costume but I found out they are torture to walk in after about 45 minutes. And I will medicate myself before I fabulously and gracelessly get there for set up! I will have a bit of time to hang with the teachers and decorate before the small creatures get up from their “nap time.” *Sigh, I sometimes miss naps! I am sure we will have fun and dance about. Hence the medications needed!

That’s the reason this fabulous crazy mama plans a semi low key evening in with crafts, easy dinner and Halloween movies with the boy before the big day! In my family, we dress up and go out and about. We may hit a festival or something Halloweenie and then go trick or treating. It is always Fabulously Fun! I love that I have passed the love of the holiday to the boy. Of course we pretend to be all kinds of people and dress in costumes even when it isn’t Halloween, so that may make us a touch strange but it still makes us totally fabulous! And maybe a wee bit crazy but in that good kind of way!

I hope you all have a fabulously fun Friday and get ready for Halloween!!!

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!!!!!!

Chronic Pain blows so Keep Hope Alive!

October 29, 2015October 29, 2015 ~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes I can’t think right. Too many things going on and my brain doesn’t work like I want it to. I still can “perform” to a degree though it isn’t always pretty. Life with chronic pain issues just blows. There is no pretty dressing I can put on it today.

That I was able to shower, go to see the boy at karate and look “normal” was more of a challenge than I care to admit. But it was worth it hearing him say, “Mommy you look so pretty. You always come see me.” Like I would stay away. The only times I ever wasn’t there was when I had surgery and procedures done. I always work hard to be there for him. He needs me. I need him. It works both ways.

It seemed like because I made an effort I was able to take care of a few other things I needed to do. Some not all, but I count it as a victory for me. Sometimes it’s the little things.

Being an “older” single mommy has its benefits and challenges. I wouldn’t trade any of it because I am The Boy’s Mommy. He chose me. Lord knows there’s always something going on and usually I am moving faster than I want and quicker than I realized I could. Of course I pay for it. I should buy stock in the heating pad company! I give it my all and then some. I love every second of it and never take it for granted.

I am so blessed to have a great medical support team, amazing people who care about me and help me out and a twisted sense of humor to get me through even the bleakest of times. These people cheer me on, call me out and help me find ways to get through tests, treatments and procedures as well as get through my daily life. I couldn’t do it without them.

I am a horrible patient too! I would prefer to be the one taking care of others, it’s in my makeup. Life finds humor in making me be on the other end and making me stop at times.

It is then when I realize how lucky and blessed I am.

When I feel myself beginning to wallow in self-pity I have to remind myself that I have a miracle boy and loving people who support me.

I can’t allow myself to slip onto the island of depression for it’s an easy journey there and hard to leave once you arrive. It can be so hard as it can be very inviting to go and fall into the pit. I know that once you are there it is hard to leave. You think about it. About how easy it would be to just stay. Let others handle your life and maybe check yourself into the Casa de Straight-Jacket but then I realized I don’t like being bound and I would miss my freedom. No matter how gray the day may be I know I will see the sun again.

I know that all I have to do is believe and keep hope alive.