My little parrot


When I found out I was pregnant, I read book, magazines, articles, blogs and specialty parenting sites.

I wanted to go in with as much information as possible and continue to research and read and learn about this small creature that is my responsibility.

You read about the stages of development and somewhat think you are mentally prepared for the stages.

You know deep down that anything can happen and things won’t be like the information overload you get, but you think you’re ready.

You are not.

Trust me.

It may not happen daily but, at least for me, a few times a week my offspring catches me totally off guard but something he does or says.

The past week seems to have been full of zingers!

He is four, soon to be five in September, and of course, knows “almost everything.”

He’s very self-confident and also can be shy.

He’s outgoing and loving.

He’s funny, witty and working on his jokes.

He has a slight lisp and still have the little boy voices so things he says that are beyond his years tend to throw me off and in many cases make me laugh.

He is full on boy!

He likes to “help cook” in the kitchen and with some minor adjustments, my OCD has accommodated him in his quest to help.

He helps pick up and “cleans” because he sees me do it and he wants his toys to not disappear if he leaves them scattered about.

He watches as me to see what I do and sometimes copies my actions.

He has similar facial expressions to me.

The boy can’t hardly taking a photo without sticking out his tongue… I may have taught him that!

Since I have always worked with him on manners, the age old “yes mam, no mam, thank you mam, please” phrase has been drilled into his head and still is. We also do “yes sir…” to make sure whether male or female he knows how to respond. When he burps or poots he is to say excuse me and usually does.

But it seems all boys, and some men and females, have to verbally note when they fart.

We call it barking spiders, pooter scooters and poots. Most recently he learned the phrase “passing gas.”

He finds them all hysterical.

Sounds coming from his butt are the best in his world.

I figure give him all the cleanest terms for his body and its functions as I can while he is young.

Recently he said “Mommy I had a big barking spider come out of my anus.”

Ugh! Hopefully he will still use the term booty or butt for now!

Trying to teach him the correct names for his anatomy is a challenge!

He also copies things we say.

The other night at dinner I was trying to open a container when he busts out with, “What Are you doing child?!” in a fabulous imitation of myself.

I lost it laughing.

It was one of those laughs that’s contagious and he started laughing and I started laughing harder, then I snorted and he screeched laughing and we are both crying laughing!

I am even doing the “shhhhhhhhhhhhhh” with hysterical laughter and “please quiet” trying to gain control over my laughing.

It was semi hopeless but sometimes those laughs are the BEST feeling ever!

Every word that comes out of my mouth has to be censored when he is anywhere near me.

It’s scary.

There are times when he is all up into a movie and I am talking to someone in the other room or on the phone, thinking he isn’t paying attention but dang if he doesn’t come back a bit later and ask “mommy what did you mean by this?”

Thankfully I am hyper aware of what I say around him because I really did remember reading about “the parrot effect” of young children.

I thought it would happen earlier than now and it did to a degree.

But it seems to be building and building.

I seriously need an editor before I speak in front of him because he sometimes mixes the contexts of the word and it does not sound right!

I’m just waiting for the call from his school.

I know it’s coming!

I just have to remember to breathe and pray it isn’t over anything too bad!

No matter what I will always think of my good friend “Max” and the call she got from her sweet, angelic daughter’s daycare. “Miss Max, Ally said the “F” word!”

Then I feel a little better. For now!

Have a fabulous Thursday My Graceless Friends!

I’m recovering today from a back procedure so no idea what tomorrows post will hold!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

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Manual labor and the chic who forgot how it feels


Recently I agreed to clean an empty “small” garden home to help out an older gentleman who wanted to sell it as he no longer lived there. His son had moved out some time back he said, and I went over, we discussed pricing and I started the next day.  

First of all, I am so thankful he offered me more than I asked for!  

I was quoting him based on size, etc. knowing full well I would throw in some cleaning he didn’t mention because that’s how I am, and he was a single, older, gentleman who had come referred by a friend. I needed the money and he needed the help.  

Oh.My.Aching.Body.  

It’s not that I am not physically active. I have a 4 year old son and OCD. I am constantly on the move and cleaning, organizing and Running to catch him from numerous things. Trying to avoid as many doctor visits as possible!  

However, when I clean something, especially for someone else, I CLEAN It.  

I scrub and put my whole body into that scrub. I spray, scrub, wash, scrub and scrub some more. I become somewhat obsessed I admit.  

I will get bathrooms, kitchen, doors, laundry room, windows, floors, fans, floorboards Cleansed. 

I was thinking 4-5 hours maybe close to 6, broke down over 2 days, no problem. 

I did get it done in 2 days but it took 9 ½ hours! 

Yes I used muscles that I haven’t used in a long, long time. I had blisters on my hands. My spine, hips, back and booty feel like I went dancing for at least 10 hours solid.  

I wanted to crawl around but that is frowned upon in places and I can’t catch the boy crawling. Or just lying there.  

My son jumped into my arms earlier today and I struggled not to drop him and fall over.  

He asked me if I was “Ok mama? You seem shaky.” Very good observation young boy! I told him mommy had been working hard and her body was sore.  

He then asked if it was because I had cleaned the screened in porch yesterday. I had forgotten about that!  

That explained it!  

In addition to my house cleaning and new job duties (taking care of a lovely older lady who needs help in her home, including getting up and down), I had also cleaned a roughly 10 x 20 area top to bottom. And all the furniture – think Pollen build up from all season long. Nasty! OCD here it was bad!  

I do not mind cleaning and helping. I enjoy making money and helping family and friends clean. I am a freak, this I know.  

But I forgot that I am no longer a spring chicken and that my spine, for real, is not at its peak, and I am, in fact, having a procedure done later this week to burn those irritating nerves back there and get a spinal block and maybe something else my fabulous doctor will throw in. Because he feels sorry for me being all jacked up knowing how I live my life! And I do bend at the knees like I’m told Trust Me! I couldn’t do anything otherwise!  

I mean I go in every three months for maintenance! Seriously! 

Manual labor I can do, I just have to pace myself.  

To those who do it daily, my respect goes out to you!  

It is hard on a body!  

But I love it and of course I will be doing similar cleansings again… once my spine is fixed!

And that house I did? It is Cleansed! The owner said he hadn’t seen it that clean since he had been living there! Score for the gimpy girl!

 Have a Fabulously Graceless Tuesday my friends!

 Keep Hope Alive!

 

TGIF yeah….


Greeting and fabulous thoughts to everyone!

Do y’all ever have those days where you are all keyed up to get things done (for me it’s my LISTS haha), but don’t quite hit the mark on the timing? That is my day!

And though it is a beautiful day it’s a “crap I am so running behind!” kind of day!

Ah well, I have been working on the need another dollar end of my life and can see the light at then end of the tunnel. I’m pretty sure it’s not a truck and it’s tiny but it’s there!

You have to want it and oh boy do I want it!

Interviews and talking to folks who I have no idea if what just came out of my mouth is what they are laughing about because I am clever or because they think I am psycho and maybe a tad afraid because I look so “normal”!

Maybe I just want to think I am clever and they feel sad for me so they are nice, either way I know I will end up back in the saddle again. Maybe this time with a whole wagon loaded down. Yeah a wagon train! That’s what I am going for! Of course with all the modern comforts so one of those carts will have an AC unit powered by magic! And there she goes folks off into the abyss!

My personal goal is to write one post a day on my blog. So far I have been beating my goal and plan to continue to do so. For example I learned I can write and queue my post to post at a certain time. This is what they tell me so I guess later I will see if it works or not! This post right now will go live when I complete it.

The whole blogging experience is a wild learning curve for me. One I am happily jumping into off the cliff to find out about. I mean where else can I put up MY thoughts and have them read by complete strangers who apparently agree and like what I say?! It gives me hope for the humans! YEA!!!!

But seriously it is a joy to be able to “put it out there” so to speak and share your thoughts, dreams, views and craziness with “the world”.

I feel so old sometimes as I remember as a child watching movies with computers and of course the Jetsons, and thinking it would be so awesome to just have a typewriter and cars that flew! If you don’t get my Jetsons reference google it! It was a cartoon! Ha!

Now I am blogging on the world wide web for all to experience. Kinda a little bit scary in that good kinda way!

Now I am off to finish my chores and my Lists because I am behind but happy I am still breathing and still going!

Keep Hope Alive My Friends!

Have a Fabulously Graceless Friday!

P.S. I have been going through my journals as well as writing down “topics” for posts and came across this little jewel. It is a quote from “Odd Thomas” by  Dean Koontz that I can totally relate to and ask for so I am sharing it with you.

“These days, all I ask of fate is that the people she hurls into my life, whether they are evil or good, or morbidly bi-polar, should be amusing to one degree or another.”

Amen Brother Odd, Amen!

 

sometimes my headline goes away so I made a new one up


Greetings my FabulouslyGraceless folks!

Today has been quite high on the “how much of my stuff did I really get done today” meter!

I am a “bit” OCD and always have a jillion things to do but can somehow manage to get through a whole day with the feeling of nothing accomplished! Anyone else like that?!

So I started back on my “daily lists”.

I fully admit I have a post it note and notebook problem. I have them everywhere and can’t find one when I need it because someone (most likely my offspring or maybe even my other personality) moved it. Then I loose my mind for a few minutes, calm down and move on to that scrap of paper I found under the seat or in my purse. I keep pens and crayons on me at all times so I can write somehow! Oops I digressed a bit so back to my “topic”…

I make a List of Everything I can think of I need to get done. It’s always intimidating trust me! From go to the post office, check accounts, pick up items boy child needs, grocery, blog, bills – yes it gets overwhelming! *girl if you’re reading this I just put “go to the post office” on list for tomorrow!

The I make sub-list and from that a sub-sub list. At this point I wonder, does the person reading this think I am crazy or can they totally relate?! Because I also have colored tabs for different subjects (home, work, kid, other work, bills, etc.) – I said I was OCD! It’s not a bad thing to be organized!!

I have always worked the full time job since I graduated from high school. Only briefly in the last 25 plus years have I not received a “regular” paycheck. That is until recently when I was laid off. Of course I am getting an income, a tiny one, and I am working to make it better trust me. I’m not high maintenance (hehehe in my humble opinion) but I have standards!

So now we have a work ethic and “schedule” of over 25 years in the making and no concrete day to day job to go to with one very OCD mama who needs that structure in her life! Desperately! For her own sanity!

I decided to “take the reigns” so to speak and get my life back on track and I am happy to report that today I got the Big List started and several of the sub & sub subs done – go me! I even was able to scratch off “complete”! *Celebrate! Holiday! Oh yeah! **another one of my little “endearing qualities” is I have random moments of happy dances and bits of songs in my head that I just let out for no reason…. welcome to my mind!

All of this means that I am happy in my soul and I am keeping hope alive that my next “job” is what I want to do and can support me and my boy. (*note: I am in no means destitute, I am fortunate to have a wonderful family and fabulous friends who help me out and I help them back! My mama is the best so I’m just throwing that out there because without my mama, my dreams of following my dreams of writing for a living would not be happening right now! Ahhhh tender moment!)

Did I mention I have on my robe and no make up cause that’s how I am rockin’ it – getting in done in comfort and my own style! Dreams do come true!

I hope you all have had a fabulous gracelessness Thursday!

WOW


 

 

So I decided to blog because I have been a person who reads all my life. I read everything, books, back of products, magazines, blogs, newspaper, on-line articles – I READ! I also keep a journal – in fact I have so many spanning my lifetime it’s like a mini library of crazy!

Starting this blog was something I wanted to do for fun.
It is fun but it is work!

I will admit I can be technically challenged so working on the back end is a bit intimidating but I am up for it.

It is so amazing to me how many comments I have about “stumbling” onto my blog and liking it!

This makes my week people!!!

I just started posting my thoughts and WOW!

Now I have “followers” and people calling, texting, emailing me about my blog.

This is so awesome!

If I can do this Anyone can!

Do something you love! Overcome the fear by facing it!

So someone doesn’t like what I write, fine. They don’t have to read it!

I love reading others blogs myself and follow about 20 at least!

The best way to start is to just DO IT!

Always keep hope alive!

Be fabulous! Embrace your inner Gracelessness!

SPAM


Ok I will say it – I. Hate. SPAM!

It’s one thing when it’s in my inbox, I can scan it and dump it. However I am learning when one has a blog, nearly every comment is considered SPAM.

How bad could it be? Over 300 comments with a good 90% spam! And since the rules, that would be the ones in my head, say I need to respond to comments related to my post I started going through the SPAM section. Holy crap! It’s just as bad as SPAM in your emails! If not worse!

Apparently online casinos are big as well as some kind of muscle workout enhancement. I don’t CARE! I don’t need any enhancements and if I want to do the gamblin’ I will go hang with my friends for an entertaining evening of poker.

This, of course, means I get to learn more about filtering and how to weed out the crap and find the good. Like the nice person who said they liked my writing – yes I checked they were legit! And a few others with comments genuinely related to what I wrote. I SO APPRECIATE IT!!! IT IS AWESOME!

But the SPAM – Holy Guacamole – this is insane!

I really had the thought, “do they have nothing better to do that post comments about stuff completely unrelated to anything here?” and then I remembered, “I am now a blog writer. If I have time for this, I am so sure they have time to that.” And oh how it irritates me!

For the love of Pete and as I am sure many writers everywhere agree, pay attention to the content. I would rather get “this post so sucked” than to have to check and delete something that is totally unrelated to my blog. Because it is my blog.

Gee I grin when I say that! Maybe I can tackle this SPAM crap!

Then I will write a real post! HA!

Keep hope alive and have a fabulous morning!

A few things I never thought I would say….


“Do not lick the door in the restroom!”

“Do not do barking spiders/pooter scooters or farts on Anyone! I don’t care how much you love them or how good of friend they are to you.”

Seriously. These are things that I have repeatedly said to my boy!

When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. I didn’t think I could have a child. Then I found myself praying for just One in there and please let it be a boy.

So that I am not taken the wrong way, I love little girls. I love being an auntie to my niece. She rocks. She’s like me. It scares me. The thought of having a girl child like myself scared me more than the thought of having multiples (unless it was multiple girls – gah!).

I have never been into fashion, never too girly girl so I thought raising my own boy would be easy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Um no!

I mean he is quite the cutie and we don’t argue over what he’s wearing, which I know will probably change when he gets older. His current demands at times are still negotiable. I mean I have no issue with green shirt and orange shorts with the blue hat. I don’t freak out that his chap stick is blue and it looks as if he has been eating blue candy when I go into the store.

I have had to tell him we don’t “share” his poop stories. No one wants to know that if you eat the blue frosting on the cupcakes from Kroger you have blue poop. Ok maybe a few people want that information because it’s funny but still. Every child has to learn boundaries  I just didn’t think I would be explaining why discussing body functions are off limits to everyone but close family and friends. And even then it may not be a good time!

For months after he went to the bathroom at a restaurant he would be walking back to the table with me proudly exclaiming “I peed and pooped and it was stinky!” Really kid, the wait staff at the Red Lobster does not care nor do the patrons. All they now know is don’t go in the bathroom for a bit!

I couldn’t make this up. I seriously have started writing down the things I have to say because it is just too funny and I have to share it with my friends. And apparently anyone who reads my blog!

One of my favorite quotes I recently read was “raising a kid is like watching a Tarantino movie….lots of talking and lots of violent screaming.” Truth!

 

 

Plans, dreams and reality


We all have that picture in our head of how something is supposed to work or flow. Whether it is getting out of bed, a meeting, a relationship or any random thing you are doing most of us can picture it in our mind of how it will go down.

You may even go so far as to say 75% of the time we are right. (Yes, I am being generous here I know but Hope people!).

It’s the 25% that can knock you into a “what just happened?” moment.

In high school I thought I had my life planned out. Where I would go to college, who and when I would get married and how many children I would have. I must have been delusional! NOTHING went how I had it planned in my mind! I got a few college credits but no degree. I gained so much learning from life itself I did not feel the need for more education. That “married and kids thing”? Yeah it didn’t work out so hot either. I was married and I did have a child but again nothing went as planned!

However I would not change it a bit. I have asked myself that very question many times. Maybe before “the boy” was born my answers may have been different but now? I wouldn’t trade a thing because I have him.

Yes being a parent is Hard. Yes it is work. Yes I no longer know what “regular” sleep is and forget being alone in the bathroom. But he is so worth it!

If everything had “worked out” the way I had “planned” it, this adventure of my life would have been totally different. It may have been better. Or worse. Who knows?

I do know my life is far from perfect but I look at it as I have fabulous friends and family who will be there for me no matter what and a wonderful little boy who thinks I’m the coolest thing ever. It doesn’t get much better than that!

 

Another day, need another dollar


Running my errands this morning I came up with so many grand ideas to write about, then I forgot to write them down! Yes this is my life!

I am so OCD I plan with contingency plans and then have mini freak outs when I something so off happens I have no plan. Such is the world. Life happens while you’re making plans! This a true statement!

But the sun is shining, I am alive and thankful to have my coffee!

Seriously we often wake cranky and irritable because this or that doesn’t go the way we “planned” it to.

While we are in said pity party/irritation spot/mini rage we do not consider we woke up most likely in our bed (or couch or chair) that we enjoy sleeping in or at least have the option to sleep in. We don’t consider those who have no place to sleep, no shower and no coffee. They may not even have food. I am not a “morning eater” meaning I can’t eat food when I first open my eyes. But I have that option. And I am grateful for it. I do however consume coffee. I am grateful for that as should anyone who comes into contact with me should be grateful I have it as well!

So just take a minute out of your own bubble to think about and be grateful for what you do have. There are so many out there that don’t have anything.

And if you’re feeling a bit fine share your happiness by giving your time or a few dollars to those who need it more than you. If you are buying a coffee buy one for the next person. The whole pay it forward concept is awesome!

As for me I am going to now earn those dollars I so desperately need!

Have a fabulous day!

 

 

The things I do….


Here it is almost midnight and I am writing again. Something I truly enjoy and can’t seem to stop doing!

I should be in bed, dreaming and resting up as there is Always work to do, people to care for and something my OCD brain needs to clean/organize. However I am so excited I just had to write! Not even sure if it makes sense at this late hour but it doesn’t concern me as I am doing what I love WRITING!

Tomorrow is a full day of taking the boy, my son age 4 1/2, to school, running errands, working and writing. Oh and karate for the boy later in the day!

Being a mommy at 39 was very humbling for me and made me realize the more important things in life. Like sleep. One can never seem to get enough! HA! But seriously just taking joys in the simple things that I was always “too busy” to do at times makes all the difference in the world. He is my miracle babe and I am grateful that I was given the gift of him and helping him on his journey in this life.

I am also writing for my son to see how crazy his mama is and to also show the many sides to what writing can do.

Words have power. You should stand behind you words and if you make promises, keep them. If you can’t you should not only apologize but make right the wrong and not keep repeating the mistakes. Like the boy who cried wolf, one of my favorite analogies I tell the boy, you can’t keep repeating it over and over or no one will believe you.

As I do feel the pull of my comfy bed I leave you with a lovely good night and pleasant dreams.

As always, keep hope alive!

Tomorrow could be the best day of your life!