The fact is I have never, nor will I ever be perfect. I make mistakes. I let people down. It’s not that I want to let others down, but sometimes life happens and I can’t do all that I want or said I would do.
I forget things sometimes.
I have the best of intentions and seem to always say, “Yes, I will do it!” And I mean it. I want to do it or take care of it. I end up overloading myself and sometimes, I do so much and keep going until a sickness or my body knocks me down. Yet I still keep trying to go on.
Sometimes I don’t do things fast enough for others. I am working on teaching the boy patience, but I don’t expect to have to explain patience to adults. More often than not they can be worse than my 5 year old in the patience department. I am also guilty of being impatient.
I have flaws. Lots of them. People can chose to accept me for them or walk away.
Sometimes I get frustrated or angry and raise my voice. Then I feel guilt for snapping.
I don’t always handle things like they should be handled.
Sometimes I drop my basket and loose my shit.
I forget that I am human.
It’s like I try so hard to make sure everyone else is taken care of, happy and getting what they need that I forget to take care of myself. I then find myself resentful but have no one to blame but myself.
Right now I am working on finding my balance. .
At one point in my life I had my life much more organized. I was cheery most of the time. I worked long hours but I loved my job. I may have grouched some but I was still able to keep myself in check and get everything done that I needed to get done. I also didn’t have my boy and the life priorities I have now. In some ways it was easier, yet it was also hard too.
After my miracle boy came along, I let a few things slide. When his father and I realized we could no longer live together I know I made many mistakes. However, I also realized that no matter what we were his parents and good or bad, I would make sure he knew that I was always there for him. Loving him no matter what. Sometimes I fail miserably but yet he knows, as he has told me, that everyone makes mistakes and he loves me no matter what. He knows mommy will always be there for him and that I put him first.
So my my attitude, my demeanor, my thoughts, my car, my home and other things may not be perfect, but I know that his love for me and my love for him is perfect. That makes my mistakes and my colossal errors at bit easier to handle.
I have started again working full time after a year of not. I am dropping things left and right. I am still trying to find my balance. Still, I know that he loves me no matter what. I am also beyond blessed to have people in my life that love me and accept me for me. Flaws and all.
So if you are expecting perfection from me, I am afraid I can’t always deliver. I can, however, promise you that I will admit my mistakes, my flaws and my imperfections. I also know that to one little boy, he finds me perfect and never judges me because he knows that my love for him is built on a solid foundation of unconditional love.
So if you find yourself frustrated and irritated at not being perfect at something, realize we are all human. It is a part of life and try to work to make it better.
No one is perfect. Although we can be perfect for each other.
Keep Hope Alive!