Staying positive and always keeping hope alive!


Oh what a beautiful mornin’! Oh what a beautiful day! I’ve got a wonderful feelin’, everything’s goin’ my way! *Opening song from musical “Oklahoma!

Do you ever just feel like Finally you can exhale and that no matter what everything will be ok? Yes there are still challenges and battles to face. Such is life. But how your outlook is depends on how it affects you.

inhale let exhale go

I’m known for being somewhat cheery and positive the majority of the time. Scary and weird to me and especially to some of those who truly know me! But I really feel that having a positive outlook, Keep Hope Alive (OTB 2001), genuinely helps you keep positive even when you know you have things you would rather not deal with or situations you know you have no control over, whatever it may be.

I have to stop and really let it go (damn Disney and their songs haha) in order to be able to let myself be free to the stress. Not condoning actions I don’t believe in or supporting something that is against my own personal beliefs, but I have to let the anger go. Let the stress and worry go in order to move forward and overcome the situation or circumstance. Otherwise it will eat away at my core, my soul, and that isn’t healthy for me or for anyone else.

Friends often ask me how I can handle, be friends with, tolerate certain people. They wonder why I give more chances than I should. It’s because I want to believe people, no matter how many times have proven your wrong or hurt you, can change at least for that moment. And if they don’t how I can go from compassion to cold hearted in what seems the blink of an eye.

Everyone has their breaking point. Their line that they consider once you’ve crossed it, sadly it is done and you must then take measures you would rather not take but you cannot keep having a vicious cycle that repeatedly harms repeat itself.

It’s these circumstances, situations I have no control of that I have no choice, in my opinion to KEEP HOPE ALIVE and be positive for myself. I don’t see any other alternatives for me. It’s my choice of how I cope with life.

breathe and release that which does not serve you

Tomorrow is my boy’s 5th birthday. He truly is a miracle. When I think about where I was 5 years ago, the people in my life and the ones no longer here, it is bittersweet. But no matter what I know in my soul I am going to be positive not only today but this whole week. It’s the boy birthday celebration week in my world. My mindset and attitude directly affects him. I believe in letting him learn about life but I am also working to instill in him the sense of hope and peace within himself and learning how to find that own his own. The “self-soothing” techniques all people use.

Remember to breathe.

Remember to always keep hope alive.

“Oh what a beautiful mornin’! Oh what a beautiful day! I got a wonderful feelin’, everything’s goin’ my way!”

Stay fabulous!

stop smile breathe life is beautiful

Sitting in the dark


I love when I have plans and life changes them and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it!
I had gone about my day, actually being a bit more productive than planned, and went to karate with the boy as the storms rolled in.
We made it through karate and went home to a dark house. Yes the power was out. No big deal or so we thought. Several hours later my house is still dark and the storms blew over a while ago. Normally we don’t lose power but this is an anomaly and especially for this long. I am praying I can get my post completed before the computer dies and I can upload it via hotspot without using too much power as I have to get up early in the morning and need my alarm which is on my phone! I am going to plug my phone in and hope for the best with it charging during the night – keep hope alive!
The most entertaining part was the boy asking every few minutes, “can we turn the power back on so we can watch a movie?” No. No we can’t! We’ve been teaching him how a long time ago they didn’t have power at night and candlelight was the only light you had. Since he killed one flashlight already I think it may be sinking in that people actually survive living like this! Talking, reading and drawing by candlelight. Well we have allowed him another flashlight so he can draw but he was monitored!
Since I have a few challenges ahead I am cutting this one short.
I think I will enjoy the quite while it last.
Sometimes not being so plugged in has it advantages!
Have a fabulous day my friends!
Always keep hope alive!

Good, Bad and In-Between


I try so hard to write positive posts. I know that I often write some things that are not positive, but feelings and thoughts that I have and I know others have them too. Some of my feelings and thoughts are downright dark and not so pleasant.

I sat down in front of my computer with so many topics I have written down to write more on. However, today I got a disturbing phone call from my sister that has shaken me to my core. I had several conversations and experiences with others today that have definitely shaped the tone and feel of this one. So please bear with me.

Some people are truly good humans. They are fallible but for the overall, they are good.

Other people are just bad. They may try to be good. They will talk it, try to walk it but in the end they cannot pull it off. For whatever reason, they continue to choose the “dark side” of life and how they treat others.

Then the other group, the group I feel most are in, is a 50/50 combination of the two. Both good and bad with the consciousness of both.

I have issues with someone who consciously and repeatedly hurts others. Whether it begins intentionally or not, when you continue to harm others and lie about it, you are not a “good” person. I don’t know what drives these people to act this way. I have seen people from “good” families this way and others who learned it from the “family”. I have seen people from all socioeconomic classes, races and genders do this. It can’t be classified by “X”.

Equally I have seen people who are “good” who have no “reason to be” due to upbringing, life circumstance or what have you stay on the better path because it is who they are.

The combo group is the same. All walks of life, finances and backgrounds they are the ones who chose which way they want to go.

I know a man who is a father, son, husband, veteran, police officer and friend. He is truly a quality human being. He may get a bit loud, has tattoos, rides his hog and has a big truck, but is always the one to re-direct those wanting to fight, and to help keep the mood light when things turn a bit dark. Ahem. He has served this country and chose a career in law enforcement.

Recently he went riding his motorcycle with his friends while off duty. They stopped into a local bar to see some friends and had one beer. After a while, he left. In front of him was another vehicle and he could see the driver was having a hard time driving. He followed the vehicle to make sure the driver made it home. When the driver emerged, he saw it was a man and called out, “Hey man, are you ok?” He repeated himself several times and thought it was dark, he could hear the man wandering around making noises. Seconds later the man charged him from the dark. He began beating my friend in the face and head. He tried to gouge his eye out. Another man came out of the home and also began hitting him. He begged them to stop saying he only followed the guy home to make sure he was ok. He then made a fatal mistake. He said he was an off duty cop and he meant no harm. They men began searching for his weapon. They found it and fired into the air. One of the guys told him the next shot would kill him. He started fighting for his life. One guy swung the cycle helmet at my friend, he ducked, and the other guy was hit in the face. Enraged the man started going for his eyes again. He felt his nose break. He was able to get a finger in his mouth and bit down as hard as he could. His thoughts were, “well they will have my DNA on them if they kill me.”

He then passed out. When he came to, the police from that jurisdiction were there. They immediately had him do a field sobriety test. He passed and was asked to do more. He could not understand so he did and passed again after being beaten to the point of passing out. They asked if he had fired his weapon. He stated he did not, but one of the other guys did. My friend had a broken nose and cheek bone. His eye was so bad the doctors thought he may lose his sight. He had contusions, concussion and lacer actions all over his face and neck along with the breaks and bruising.

HE WAS CHARGED WITH ASSAULT.

All news reports I have read gives his name, age, occupation, mentions he’s a vet and calls the other men “victims.”

When he passed out, the police arrived and “the victims” told them that he followed the one guy home, started screaming at him and attacked him. The other guy said when he came out to help he was hit in the face. One of them has a “horrible bite” from my friend who was “attacking him”. They said he fired his gun at them.

He is on paid leave while the “incident” is under investigation.

His statement was “lost” so it becomes the word of 2 men with “prior records” (DUI, assaults, thefts – you get the idea) against him. A 20 plus year law enforcement official and ex-military man who was the one who stopped the fights.

What in the hell is wrong with this world?

He can’t do the job he loves while he is under “investigation” and his name is being slandered while “bad” people are sucking up the press and playing the poor pitiful me police brutality card.

I know that when it gets into court and all evidence is in that he will be cleared.

But I feel such a pain in my heart for him while he waits this out. To think that some people feel he just changed and attacked unprovoked in and INSTANT and has never done this before or since makes me sick.

This is where I pray that those combo folks will choose the right side. Choose the good for his sake.

People who hurt other people because of who they are, what religion they are, whom they chose to lose or just because it’s all they know to do have some serious karma payback coming to them. They won’t be able to carry on this way for much longer because what you put out there will come back on you. I truly believe that.

I hope everyone can find it within themselves to choose the good. Please keep the darkness at bay.

This world needs more good now than ever.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep hope alive!

 

Happy Labor Day!


happy labor day chic

Today is Labor Day and I truly hope that you all are getting to enjoy this national holiday.

In keeping with Labor Day, I am keeping this post short and sweet.

I plan to enjoy good food and good company.

I hope to not have to actually do too much labor on this day that acknowledges that everyone needs time off .

If you are stuck at work today I hope that you are at least getting some compensation and you have my thanks. So many still have to work no matter what the holiday. Soldiers, doctors, nurses, law enforcement and many others always give themselves no matter what the holiday and at great sacrifice to themselves and their families. To those keeping things running and thousands of others who can’t afford to take the day off, I thank you!

I hope that you all have a fabulous Labor Day 2015!

holiday brought by hard wk labor day

Keep Hope Alive for this Monday to be awesome and to have an amazing and productive week!

From the fabulously graceless Lady Mao

Truth


Truth can hurt. It can be painful and cutting.

Relationships can be destroyed and friendships lost.

It can also be freeing. It can give you that exhale you’ve been waiting on for far too long.

People don’t always tell the truth. Sometimes they have different version of the truth. Nicer, cleaner. Not so dirty and hateful.

Some don’t want to recall their actions and deeds that hurt the ones they claimed to love.

Others take full responsibility of their faults and mistakes.

I have been called brutally honest.

That is painful in ways but also very true.

I know I don’t always want to see or accept the truth.

I know that I could never ignore it no matter how hard it may be to face.

For the old saying, the truth shall set you free, is so very true.

As is the truth can destroy.

The balancing act of truth telling is as fragile as a flower.

Now go have a fabulous day and ponder the truth of happiness!

Writing a blog can be a dangerous thing!


Writing a blog can be a dangerous thing.

I have always written since I was a little girl and kept a diary. I have written in journals, short stories, articles, essays, poems – you get the idea.

Oftentimes when I am writing a post I just write and don’t always think about how it is taken on the other end. I mean it is my blog and my thoughts. I try not to offend too badly.

I’ve been contacted by some people asking if I was writing about specific people or why I wrote about them because “they knew” that I was.

It isn’t about “you”. That’s why it’s called FabulousGracelessness.

Writing and maintaining a public blog is something I always wanted to do but wasn’t sure if I could.

I knew I could write. I write and get paid when I can and I write letters and poems and of course in my journal. I have been published, a small publication in the National Library of Poetry, but still published. I’ve written articles as a ghostwriter and for organizations where my name was actually listed as the author.

I have found in writing a blog I love the challenge I set for myself to write one post a day. I love stretching my mind to find things to write about and pulling from my mind, my thoughts and opinions.

I have also learned friends and family will tell me “don’t post this on your blog, it’s personal.” I completely respect that. I do. For the most part, I honor their wishes. I do end up writing about them but never names, places or any pertinent information about them.

So many of my life situations I find hysterically funny or completely fascinating and I want to share it.

But I also censor myself.

Because if I truly said everything that was on my mind, in my thoughts and heart I would be in a level of hell I do not want to venture through.

I do put a large part of my life “out there for anyone to see.”

Judge me as you will, but don’t forget the saying “Judge not lest ye be judged” and “he/she that is without sin cast the first stone.” *Please see my post “judge me” to see how I really feel!. https://fabulousgracelessness.com/2015/07/28/judge-me/

Believe me when I say I keep a lot to myself. Literally. I have my written journals and electronic writings, but if I don’t write things, I feel like I will fester up from the inside and explode. I sometimes feel I would lose my mind if I didn’t write it out.

There will always be critics and haters. There will always be those who think they know more about me than I do. Those people are amusing and also quite annoying.

There are also folks out there who genuinely enjoy my writings and ramblings and to y’all I say THANK YOU!

Thank You for allowing me to live my dream of writing and knowing others read, comment and sometimes even enjoy! If I am truly blessed, they will take something positive away or know they aren’t alone in their feelings and beliefs.

That is the best feeling of knowing that you made someone’s day a little brighter or helped a complete stranger with your words.

So I continue to write and to share.

I can’t not do it.

But know, it’s not about “you”, it’s about ME getting my thoughts and feelings Out.

Was that clear enough? If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

As for the rest of you I truly hope you enjoy getting a glimpse of this maotic (that’s mayhem and chaos all together) mind of mine!

Hence why I say, writing a blog can be a dangerous thing. Good thing I like a bit of danger!

Here’s to Keep Hope Alive and following your dreams!

Have a fantastically fabulously graceless Friday my friends!

A blue bunny kind of Thursday


So my jeep has been in the shop for a while now. I am worried that the “Blue Bunny” may not be suitable for me any longer and I dearly love that vehicle!

It is far from a luxury car, but it is mine, bought and paid for. It seems, however, that it’s days of carting me and mine around are limited.

I purchased that jeep when it was just me and my big love dog, Jethro. It has a manual transmission, aka manny tranny, and lots of quirks but I was in love from the test drive.

b jethro

I started receiving recall notices, little things like windows, buttons, etc. after the boy was born and took it in the first time when the passenger rear window got stuck in the down position. At first the dealership tried to claim my kid had worn it out, but seeing as how I had him in a carrier and he had limited head control, much less the ability to repeatedly push the button to roll down the window they conceded it was probably due to the defect of the system. Ya think?!

Then, about a year and a half after the first time I had the window repaired, the same thing happened. It got stuck on the passenger side in the down position. It was winter and cold, like 23 degrees outside cold. I took it back to the dealership and told them of the problem.

Let’s just say things did not go well for either of us, and I had to pay for a new part for the window they “repaired” with the recalled parts they were given to “replace the bad ones”. Whatever. My kid is still in a car seat and can’t reach the button for the window. *Ahem.

Of course I had to do the usual maintenance, fluid changes, tires (several times as I drive a lot and yeah, I think I am an Andretti descendant at times), even a new windshield, which I lived with for quite a while before I dropped the cash to fix that.

Moving along I came to the decision to move back to the motherland with the boy and dog. I figured it would be easier to do the majority of it myself to save funds.

Logical right?

So I started packing and planning and realized I needed a hitch on my jeep as I figured I would at some point need a trailer for my move.

I take it to the local U-Haul and schedule a time for the hitch to be installed. Since it was during the week and I worked, I had a co-worker take me up there so I could have them install the hitch while I am at work, go back to work and come back when they finished as it was less than 5 minutes away.

I get to the U-Haul, walk in and tell all these “young” guys why I am there. The cockiest one walks up, snags my keys and smirks, “I got this.”

I just smiled at his other 2 co-workers and said, “He’s kind of confident. That’s going to be a good thing to have in life.”

As they looked at me oddly, he returned via the back entrance with a sheepish look on his face. His co-workers quickly inquired as to if he was ok and if the vehicle was ok. Of course the vehicle was fine. The problem? He couldn’t drive a manual transmission, stick shift or anything like it. If it wasn’t “automatic” he couldn’t drive it!

It turns out only one of them had ever even attempted driving a vehicle that wasn’t an automatic. All of the trucks they rented were automatic.

b gearshit gfriend

Wow, just wow!

There was only one that had attempted to drive a stick, and yes, I let him attempt it again but he couldn’t do it. He had the true humor to tell me he was temporarily turning in his man card because he now knew he needed to know how to drive one.

The other two pretty much hid from me more or less.

I had to back my own vehicle up the ramp so they could install the hitch. Their manager was coming over from another store to get it down and they would call to let me know when to pick it back up.

I had to say I laughed long and hard about that one as did several of my co-workers and friends! I still do. I mean, really, you take your vehicle to get something done to it and all of the employees working that shift could not drive it because it is not an automatic?! I cannot make this up!

I’ve had so many great adventures and good memories in my “blue bunny” so named for its color and general happy feel!

My boy had one of those walkers that had the jeep look on it and that was done randomly and not because of my jeep. I have a photo somewhere of him in his walker behind my actual parked jeep. See below.

b jeep

I have lived in 2 states and driven through 7 in the bunny.

I know her quirks and oddities like I know my own.

Of course I paid it off last year so it’s just Murphy and his laws again messing with me telling me it’s time to move on. But this one is hard for me.

I have so many great memories.

My dog, Jethro, who is no longer on the planet with me, rode all over the southeast in that jeep.

My dad got a kick out of it and we talked about how I always wanted a jeep when I was younger, but he was worried then that I would flip it with my driving skills at the time. My dad is no longer here either.

I got the Blue Bunny and 14 months later had my boy so I carried both boy and dog in the jeep back and forth from the park to the house and to visit family.

I know that sometime soon I am going to have to make a decision on what to do about her.

I’ve been blessed to have a “loaner” minivan that is quite cool. Words I never thought I could ever put into a sentence and mean! It’s “loaded” as they say and my boy likes it better than the jeep. I mean ALL of the windows roll up and down, there’s a sun roof, space, good on gas and oh yeah it has DVD players in it.

We took it on our trip to PA and even with 6 humans and all of our crap we had space. We even discussed, other than hitting laundry mats and grocery stores, we could just keep driving and take a trip around the country. It is that comfy and cool.

But still, I will miss the Blue Bunny once she goes.

For now, I can still keep hope alive that I can squeeze a bit more time out of her.

b bluebunny

For nostalgia’s sake if nothing else.

Memories last forever.

Have a fabulous graceless day!

 

 

 

 

 

Marvelous, manic but it’s still Monday


its_ok_monday

Well, well, well Monday we meet again.

I say we should try this being friendly thing. I mean why not?

Why should we dread you this way?

All you ever did was get the name after we decided to count the time by the rotation of the sun. Months don’t get this bad rap the way Monday’s do.

So we should all try to be a little nicer to Monday’s. Try to have a better attitude.

In fact, try having a better attitude every Monday and see what happens!

I mean just have a little hope people… Keep Hope Alive!

Keeping it short and sweet yet full of hope for y’all my fabulous graceless friends!

Happiness and hope,

Lady Maos

 

warn_others

It’s a beautiful day!


Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day!

I’ve got a wonderful feeling, Everything’s going my way!

*lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II

 

Let’s make today a beautiful day!

Rain or shine, good or bad, find the beauty in the day, in yourself and in others.

Let today not be a day of assumptions and judgement, but let it be a day to be happy and have hope.

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Sometimes folks tend to get the Sunday afternoon blues thinking about Monday and the following week. Just stop it right now!

We need to live in the moment.

We are not promised tomorrow.

Why not live for happiness and goodness today?

Are you saving it up because I can tell you that happiness is endless and goodness is all about perspective.

Will bad things happen to some today? This is life so I am going with yes.

Though it is out of my control at this moment so I cannot dwell on what if’s and could’ve, should’ve and would’ve.

You should wave and smile, rock your invisible tiara people! This goes for the guys too!

always_wear_your_invisible_crown

Smile at a stranger, in a friendly way, not in I’m going to eat your kidney with a nice Chianti and some fava beans kind of way!

Do something nice for someone that they aren’t expecting.

Or just be quite and not complain. That can be a gift in and of itself for some!

Whatever you do I hope you chose to have a beautiful, fabulous Sunday!

Always Keep Hope Alive!!!

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The weekend is here!


I may be just a tad bit happy that the weekend is finally here.

It’s been a long week my graceless friends!

I am sure so many have gone through hardships, pain and loss and I am hoping this weekend brings some bit of happiness to you all.

Just 2 short weeks ago I was in Hoppe Valley with my family and friends at the annual pig roast.

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It was an amazing amount fellowship, friends, fireworks and fun!

It seems like so long ago yet it was not! Ever noticed how you anticipate for months and months for something and then it happens and you are drunk on the bliss of being in the moment? Then it seems it is over in a flash. You are down like a kid after a tour in Willy Wonka’s factory the sugar high and rush has worn off and you are back in your hovel doing the day in and day out.

There you are counting down the days until next year and planning what you can do to make things even better though it will be hard to top this year!

This weekend I am celebrating with a different group of friends and one of my good friends turns the BIG 50! Happy Birthday CB!!!

I think we need a trip to a cabin in the hills again but will settle for dinner with this fine group of friends! I came across photos recently of me and my friend on that trip and how much we have changed in 10 years!

tb 10 yrs

You never think of yourself as old until it starts happening. Of course I am still young in my mind! Always!

So with those lovely chaotic thoughts I bid you a fine farewell and wish you a fantastically fabulous Saturday!

In fabulous gracelessness,

Lady Maos