the boy

Wednesday Words

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Words have power.

Words can also be pointless. Like air blowing over the landscape.

Sometimes words can convey emotions and feelings.

Other times the words are just there for answers, like a computer spitting out the information you need for your school paper. Monotonous. Clinical.

Words can cut you to the emotional bone.

They can make you laugh, cry, weep with joy or sadness. They can make you angry. They can start a movement of change. Words are good and bad, though you can’t have one without the other.

The boy is learning sight words in Pre-K. Yes, they have homework in Pre-K and I hear Kindergarten is worse with homework. At this stage I am wondering if I should book a tutor now for math in elementary school and get an early bird special! He is pretty good and identifying words and learning to spell them. Lately, he has been asking how to spell words as well as understanding the meaning of the word, as well as how it is used in a sentence.

Recently we were running a bit late on the way to school. We were talking back and forth, it was a good day with neither of us whining about the morning, when he exclaimed, “Oh damnit!” Of course I gave him a sideways, crooked look and asked him what he said. He repeated it clearly. Even enunciating while looking at me. He knew he had said an adult word but wasn’t sure it was acceptable. I asked him where he heard it. He thought about it and smiled the I-can-answer-this look and said, “You?” Oh no, no sir, I don’t think so. While I have no problem admitting I can have a potty mouth pretty much 24/7 it’s like I get shocked in my mind if I say a curse word in front of any kid, much less mine! Have I dropped a few not so nice words before? Absolutely. Have I told him each and every time I did it NOT to use that word and it was an adult word? YES. So him saying he heard it from me as a question, let’s me know he doesn’t want to reveal his source. I told him he would hear a LOT of new words as life goes on. If they weren’t words he heard from the Teachers at school, he needed to ask me in private before he tries it out in public. Because some words can get you into a lot of trouble by using them. I use “dangit” in place of damnit around children and some adults. Yes, I’ve slipped up but not often. It’s like something catches in my throat and won’t let me say the words flying through my head. I will say his placement of the word was excellent. He was using the word in frustration over forgetting to take his medicine drops that morning. Something we can do later in the day but he prefers to take it in the morning. I watched him in the back seat say dangit and mouth damnit. He looked up to see if I was looking, I am way better at looking like I saw nothing, and then said, “Ok we say dangit not the other.” Very good grasshopper.

We don’t realize how our words affect others or often, that others are paying attention when we think they are not. It’s how the boy gets me. I tend to talk to myself when I am busy. I ramble about whatever I am doing or whatever it is I may be thinking about. He may wait a few minutes, an hour, days or weeks but he will bring back up something that I say to myself. He has a wicked smart memory for one so young.

As I watch him learn to use his words I am in awe. He is starting to understand how words can hurt people but also make them feel better. He asks for definitions and how to spell them. He loves being read to and is looking forward to reading his own books. He loves now recognizing the words he is learning in school when we are reading our books.

I pray he will learn how to use his words to make people feel better. To stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves and to fight for what is right.

I hope he will love words as much as I do.

I have so many hopes and dreams for him. I just want him healthy and happy.

Maybe one day he will read these words. The internet is forever as is my love for him.

I hope you all have a fabulously wonderful Wednesday!

Keep Hope Alive!

Plague, plague Go Away!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

web md google dying

I feel the itching & scratching. No I will not let it in I start fighting it.

A few days ago it was trying to fill my head, make me stuffy. Always bringing the exhaustion. No! I will not give in to you oh cruel, evil vermin.

It is the seasonal “plague” as I call it. The one that gets in your head and chest and sometimes knocks you down for days. I have been doing battle since the first symptoms started last week.

Chances are good I got the germ from the boy, my little Typhoid Mary, as I am always up at his school. It doesn’t really matter where I got it, or apparently how much of that hand sanitizer I use, it has chosen to try and get into my system and knock me down. I am not cool with that!

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It’s one thing to have the back and hip problems I have. To wake up to a new ache or situation with something I am familiar with at least. But when this crap begins rearing its ugly head at me I tend to get a bit psycho on it. I immediately start taking OTC meds, guzzling more water and juices than I already do, and adding more vitamins to my routine. I work to eat better and try to sleep more because I know that sleeping helps. When I wake to crusty eyes and no voice I stumble to the bathroom for a hot wash cloth and gargle with salt water. I do everything I can think of doing to try and beat the beast before it truly awakens.

Its average is twice a year to knock me down. Last time I called the local ENT and went in for a shot and antibiotics to knock it out. I was still down for a few days. I am not what one would call a patient patient! I try to be but I am so independent. Caregiving is my job, not something I want to need for myself! Yet every year I find myself being attacked by a similar “bug” no matter how vigilant I am. I can’t take the flu shot, no, not any of them, so if I get the flu I will really be screwed!

Since I have had my son, it’s harder for me to be sick when I know that he needs me. At least he is seeing anyone can get sick no matter what precautions they take and how to care for others who are sick. He makes a good nurse though telling him I can’t run around, not because of my back, but because I have a fever and the doctor frowns on us getting too overheated. Not that I could run around if I wanted to!

fine no sleep needed

I pray that none of my fabulous readers get this plague. If you do, I pray it passes quickly and you aren’t down too long!

Try to stay healthy and Keep Hope Alive my Friends!

Life can change in an instant

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

life is short live it cherish love anger fear memories

In an instant it can all change. Your plans, you very life can change. All with a phone call, text or personal visit.
I may be graceless but I try to work on a schedule, which is harder now that I do freelance and work for myself. So when I schedule time for things, I reschedule other things and even tack on extra things to sometimes get yet another thing taken care of. The schedule is flexible and I juggle but I do pretty well most of the time. If something changes I can go with the flow and make arrangements to reschedule and work around the other things.
My original plans for this weekend included much overdue time needed with my girls, a bit of organization and many laughs and good friends. Since I was already going to be in the area, I also scheduled a needed doctor appointment prior to the getting together.
Then came the text I didn’t want to get. My friend’s aunt had passed. Although it was early in the week, I knew that our plans for the weekend would change. I knew she needed to be there for her family and I want her to be. She was apologizing to me for having to cancel. And asking if I would let our other friend know, she was coming in from yet another state, that she had to cancel and was sorry. This lady is quality let me tell you! Here she is with the loss of her beloved aunt, having to pack up and travel to another state and worrying about canceling plans with 2 friends. 2 friends who are immediately asking what we can do and saying not to worry, and meaning it, that of course we can re-schedule. Yes, you can call on your way there or anytime you need to talk! I feel for her and her family. It is hard enough when someone we love passes, it is also hard to coordinate your life, you job, your spouse/partner and family to be gone for several days to mourn the passing of your loved one. It takes it out of you both emotionally and physically. You deal with relatives, friends, people you haven’t seen in years or some you have never met and are meeting finally for the first time. It is bittersweet as you know it is the one you love who brought everyone together and they are no longer here
Of course we are sad we aren’t getting together and able to do the things we had “planned” to do, however certain things take precedence over “plans”.  Life Happens.
When my daddy died I was devastated. We all knew it was coming, and coming soon. We were blessed in respect to knowing that it would be quick and hopefully painless. It was fortuitous that I was there with my daddy, close family and friends when he left this plane. A part of my life was on hold while we took care of The Final Arrangements for my father. I called into work to let them know what was happening, I still took care of the boy, but was also helping my mom, uncle, brother and aunt as they were helping me. We are all trying to just get through, even with a “plan” for this event, it was not an “easy” process. I am grateful to family and friends that stepped up, either through actions or just kind words or gestures, of being there for me. My “little sister” Wucy took over packing up my home in TN before driving to AL with her wonderful fiancé for the services. She then helped the day of the funeral when our home turned into an impromptu large gathering of friends, family and business associates of my dad and family. There were so many people there that wanted to share their memory and be with others who loved and respected him. The night before the funeral it snowed. There were ice storms in the surrounding areas and there was concern we needed to move the funeral time. Fortunately, the day of the streets around us were clear enough for us to make it to the church and then to the cemetery and home safely. It was those little things that got us through, but now we were facing a different reality than the one we had previously. In an instant my mother went from married to widowed. In an instant, my brother and I no longer had a father and my uncle no longer had a brother. We knew it was coming as my dad had been fighting a brave fight against cancer for a second time. It did not make it any easier when the moment came and he wasn’t with us any longer. We were glad he was no longer suffering, but also upset that we were no longer here to share with us his love, humor and wisdom when we desperately needed it.

i dont grieve for moment of loved one

Life can change in an instant. You never know what will happen or when plans will change.
Tell you family and friends you love them and how much they mean to you every chance you get.
Always Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous day.

stop n look around life amazing

 

A Sunday well spent, reflecting and just being

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

sunday well spent

Greeting and a fabulously happy Sunday to you all!

I hope that you are having a most excellent, relaxing, enjoyable, semi stress free day!

It can be so hard to “relax” and take it easy when you have so many responsibilities, things to do and people to see. People you want to see and some you don’t get to see as often as you would like. Plus, there are also the reminders in the back of my head to ready myself for the upcoming week and all that it brings. Sometimes the hardest part is just allowing myself to relax, enjoy and be in the moment because I tend to keep planning for things to do. It’s in the vein of “stop and smell the roses” and take time to just enjoy where you are right this minute. Not constantly being in motion like I tend to try and do.

This past weekend my body chose to make me “stop” and I had to realize I needed to just smell the roses or suffer the consequences of not taking care of myself like I gripe to others about doing! It’s frustrating when you want to do things and you just can’t. You make sure your get your main chores and duties done but anything else is a bonus at this point, even it if needs to be addressed. Sometimes you just can’t get it done. Guess what? That is OK. You will live, the earth will still turn and life will go on. Your family, friends and loved ones will understand that life happens and not always the way that you would hope for it to be.

I was originally going to write about reading the Sunday paper, of which I finally finished last Sunday’s paper on Friday, and how it can be so revealing to learn more about what is going on in your community and state. Lord have mercy I love my state but sometimes I wonder what the politicians are thinking. Are we really going back 50-ish years on certain issues? The pulse here today echoes strangely to the beat in ways as it did back in the 1960’s. Once again my home state is under public scrutiny, and rightfully so, for their stance on segregation and choosing to follow they laws through their own interpretation. Seriously. It makes me cringe.

Several months back I received a phone call about race and segregation and if I felt things were better, worse or unchanged than they were in the past. It was a poll call and I enjoyed talking to the lady who was asking my true opinion. I was my honest self. I told her I could see improvement for the better, however it wasn’t enough and I saw more disrespect from others than I stupidly thought I would see when I moved back to my home state last year. That on the surface it seems like people are more tolerant and understanding of one another and that there was more compassion for our fellow human, but I realized far too quickly that that was sadly an illusion. You can bet I have added it to my “topics” to be written on!

dont quit daydream

I am very blessed in my life to be surrounded by so many amazing humans from so many diverse backgrounds. True, quality folks that accept me and I them for who they are no matter what. These amazing humans are around the state, a state or two away, across the country and across the seas. When I say I am blessed I truly mean it. I have been able to have some of the most amazing relationships with people on so many different levels. It transcends “friendship” in so many cases. We don’t see color, flaws and short comings as “deficits” in each other, but openly discuss and talk about real life and more about building each other up than tearing each other down. We can’t always talk but when we do we pick up right where we left off, flowing smoothly into what works for us. I work to do this in every area of my life. It is not always easy. I am my own worst critic of how I should be versus how I am.

But I never give up and I always Keep Hope Alive!

And I pray to the few of you that are kind enough to read my ramblings, that you have a fabulously graceful Sunday. That you find an inner happiness and a joy in the moment. Whether it be just sitting and reading and relaxing or spending time alone or with those you love. Just find a bit of beauty. Never give up of this adventure of life. ALWAYS KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!

lion graceful

Keeping hope alive and struggling to get by on this Fabulous Wednesday

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

wish you a great wed

It seems like every day there is something new and challenging. Whether it’s the garage door breaking, a new client, another bill you had no idea it was going to happen or your favorite shoes breaking there is always a challenge.

Like everyone else I am just struggling to get by. However, my mantra of Keep Hope Alive really does help me get through even in the worst of moments. That and “this too shall pass”. I also think karma can be much too slow but I know better than to mettle in the fates of the universe! Can I get an amen?!

If you are reading this post, and I thank you if you are, then you are Alive and you made it to see another morning! WhoooWhoo!

You made it to Wednesday, the middle of the “work” week. Like the middle child, the middle of the work week sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. But like the middle child, Wednesday’s have a lot to offer. Hope that you are almost to the weekend. A night for special events, classes, sports or church. Sometimes you think that Wednesday will be predictable, for example, get up, take the child to school, go to work, run errands, get child, get dinner, go to karate, come home and do your nightly thing.

over the hump wed

Life is anything but predictable!

I am blessed to work with some amazing people. On Wednesday’s normally Miss Candy and I would run errands, but she has joined a pool and now we go swimming on Wednesday’s. She has Parkinson’s but it does not have her. She was thrilled I was willing to go with her as in the water, her disease does not show and she can move around like a “normal” person. Sometimes it is the little things in life that make a day, a week or a month all that much sweeter. We are still working on the logistics and how we feel after, but I love that it was tossed into my mix. Now I get to work and exercise, and I didn’t even cringe when I typed that word, all at the same time and I love it! It helps both of us. I do stretches while walking along side of her in the pool. I put her wheelchair to the side and for about 20 -30 minutes it is like she doesn’t have a disease that ties her to a chair like she does when she’s not in the pool.

Plus Wednesday’s are karate day for the boy and we love some karate. I was a bit hesitant at first as I wasn’t sure how it would work, his dad has him every other Wednesday, but it is fabulous! I go every week, with the exception being after 3 medical procedures, and am astounded in the changes in him. He is more focused and learning so well. Of course there are times when he stares at himself in the big mirror and forgets he is in class, but he is reminded and at once is back into the moment. Seriously there is a whole bunch of cuteness with a classroom full of 4-7 year olds doing karate, yelling “Yes Mam!”, “Yes Sir!” and “Ki-yah!” as loud as they can! Everyone is treated as equals and some are at different stages but they all work together. It is a beautiful thing to watch!

b karate

I hope that whatever you do, whatever happens that you get to enjoy something beautiful today. Whatever that may be for you.

moments smile wed

Always remember to Keep Hope Alive!

Stay Fabulous and Graceless My Friends!

Bring it on Tuesday

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

It seems to me that Tuesday just trickles in every week. Coming in behind Monday Tuesday’s for me feel like a day when I can sort of catch my breath and gather myself for the upcoming week. I have such grand plans for Tuesday and sometimes they work, other times they are still on the to-do list on Wednesday but then it’s later in the week if not the following before I can get to them again. Such a vicious cycle I know. Not healthy!

I set out tasks to do: cleaning, house management, organizing and writing are all on the main list every week. I am getting better at managing my time and getting things done, however I can’t seem to get everything done I need to get done. Especially this week with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s on Saturday! No I can’t flow slowly into Tuesday and trickle in and just cruise today. I have to jump into this day with both feet and a gallon of caffeine. Or two. Plus there are always deadlines. Of course there are deadlines. Deadlines are life’s way of keeping things entertaining. Schedules and deadlines. Or so it seems at times.

I get all keyed up on Sunday nights over Monday. On Monday night I am keyed up over Tuesday and on Tuesday nights… you get the drift. I think I have a problem. Or two or ten. Maybe.

So I take you on Tuesday. Bring it baby!

My mantra is Keep Hope Alive and I am doing it.

Even if I feel like crawling back into the bed after I get the boy off to school being his “it’s going to be a great day cheerleader”. No matter what I am always there for him cheering him on and trying to do my best to make sure he knows how much he is loved and how he can make the world a bit better. I try. I really do. When he puts his arms around me and kisses me and hugs me and tells me how much he loves me everything I do is all worth it.

Carpe diem!

Keep Hope Alive and Stay Fabulous!

Fabulous, crazed, keep hope alive Monday!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Hello and Happy Monday My Fabulous Graceless Friends!

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I am on a crazed mission with a 5 day countdown to the Walk to End Alzheimer’s on Saturday and not everything is done!

I am also riding on the high of the fantabulous weekend I had with the boy and our friend. Since the boy will be gone for the next 3 weekends, I tend to go a bit over board in terms of spending time with him. Arcade, Hotel Transylvania 2, Alabama Football, Greek Festival and The Pumpkin Patch where he rode horses, played at the petting zoo and did bouncy things. Yes it was a bit overboard but FUN! And we didn’t get to go to the Butterbean Festival because of the rain but I think we did enough! We only got to carve one pumpkin but we can get the others done before Halloween! Overboard, maybe just a tish!

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He will fortunately be home before Halloween as it is our favorite holiday and we love to dress up, trick or treat and have our kind of fun. We now include his cousin, Baby HaHa, so named when he was still in the oven and his parents were not revealing his name and Baby HaHa stuck. It’s still ok to call him that now, but I am guessing by the time he’s a bit older, it won’t be so “cute”!

Today is filled with work and volunteering (read crazed calls and last minute errands for the walk) for me and school for the boy and this evening family gathering at my brother and sister-in-law’s.

It is also my parent’s anniversary, the second one without daddy. It is so strange with my daddy being gone. Just the other day I was thinking “It’s the first of October I know bow season starts sometime soon.” I know so many things because of my daddy. Things precious and special to me because of who taught them to me.

Maybe I may a bit nostalgic this week. I tend to get that way knowing the boy is going to spend time with his other family, even knowing he’s in good hands. Knowing I need a break and time for me and all the things I need to take care of I can’t always find time to do when he’s around but still. I miss him.

Here is where I know it’s time to sign off and not get too morose in my blogging!

I do wish you all a fabulously wonderful day!

This week is going to be amazing!

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Keep Hope Alive!

 

 

 

Children’s programming, the creepy and the fun

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

There is somethings about children’s programming that is just a wee bit creepy. No matter how “innocent” something is, I seem to be able to find things both hysterically funny (maybe too funny as my filters are off) or deeply disturbing. I remember when Teletubbies came out in the 90’s. If you ever got the pleasure, or torture, of watching that show then you know what I mean. Since I had a best friend who had a 2 year old at the time, I was introduced, much like I had been to Barney *shudders still* many years earlier. The first viewing I was in hysterics laughing so hard I hurt. I turned and asked her if the opening “music” sounded like something you would hear at a party, frat house or stoner pad. She fell out laughing. The characters were also a bit disturbing but funny. I am sure adults and children watching this together had different opinions. I know her son did and so did we. They later changed the opening “music” but kept the rest of it pretty much the same. I know there were groups saying they were satanic, still not sure how and what I read was more like someone reaching for Mars but only making it to Michigan and calling it Mars. Like I said disturbing.

Then there is South Park. Anyone who has watched this knows it is not appropriate for children. I mean they air it mostly later in the evening, but I have noticed it on cable channels as just about any hour. I am not complaining. Just pointing out a fact. When I was recovering from surgery and the boy wasn’t home I caught a few minutes of it during my TV flip flop. It was still funny and I enjoyed it but I am not watching it with my kid!

We watch “Pinocchio”, “Alice and Wonderland” and “101 Dalmatians” among a several others that were from my era. He loves Scooby Doo and the Mystery team. I urge you to go back and watch a few of those. Political correctness and innuendos blast at you throughout the films. It is a hoot to me and I laugh but he doesn’t yet understand why I laugh. He just thinks I am laughing at the movie like he is. As he gets older I will teach him about these things, but for now I am letting him enjoy the innocence of the films.

They do have very cool graphics these days in children’s movies I must admit. We watched “Epic” recently and it was definitely a good movie. Now the boy wants binoculars so we can find the little people in the trees. I have to admit I was the same way. I also still believe.

I hope you will enjoy this fine Saturday whatever you do.

And as always, Keep Hope Alive!

Stay Fabulous!

 

Fabulously Fall Friday

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Hello my fabulously graceless friends! We should celebrate because it’s Friday!

I can only hope that you get to enjoy your weekend and that if you have had struggles and trials this last week that this weekend give you a reprieve from all of the maos in life!

We are officially into the fall season now and in some areas the trees are changing their colors from the lush green to the vibrant colors they are known for. They are also beginning to fall and I have seen some piles around, perfect for jumping in! I’m not so sure some people would be thrilled with strangers jumping in their leaf piles but I would think as long as you cleaned up, maybe they wouldn’t mind!

Colours of Autumn.

I can picture it in my head, my boy and I seeing a large pile of leaves, pulling over the Jeep and jumping in to play. As I am going to get the rake, doesn’t everyone carry a rake with them geez, the owner of the house coming out to see what all the noise is about. I gently explain what is happening, they shake their head and laugh, help me pile the leaves back up and off we go to find another pile. In reality I might end up talking to the law!

I hope you all have a fabulous Friday!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

Jigsaw reflection

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 6 Comments

For the record I am trying so hard to keep hope alive. I am trying like hell to be positive. It isn’t easy.

This week was harder than I thought it would be. I am trying to let the light override the darkness in my mind. I feel like I am letting people down, those I love most because I feel like I am going in 50 directions and only maybe getting one thing done out of 50. I know there are thing I could do to make my life better. I am working on it truly I am. I was hoping to be able to write and care for others solely, however I am realizing right now that is not possible. So

I have set out to get a “real job” with more income until I can make more doing what I love. And it is a slippery slope. Being a single mother is hard. Yes I have help, yes I have people who love me more than anything and are willing to pitch in financially and with their time to help. I love them for it and I am so grateful. But I have this built in defect that says I need to be the One who takes care of everything. It isn’t rational and at this point in my life certainly not possible but I am trying. I also know I am his main “there” parent and it is a load I gladly carry.

Once upon a time I had a “real job” that “paid good with benefit”. I went in and gave it my all every day. I left feeling dirty and miserable due to the conditions at the office but I wasn’t stopping because I have responsibilities, a child to raise and life to life. If I want to be able to visit my family and friends I didn’t want finances to be the reason I couldn’t go. When I moved from TN to AL I was able to transfer to a sister company. The pay was better, but the conditions were a bit challenging. Determined I made it work. I had heard the whisperings, read the articles and knew our industry was in deep doo doo. I was assured repeatedly that they had never laid folk off and they weren’t starting now. I had a small savings account which I had put in an interest bearing account. Then I got laid off. Somewhat shell shocked I took the news well and even went back to make sure my workload was taken care of and my customers were transferred over to someone who would work with them.

I was able to draw unemployment for 6 months but after that I have been on my own so to speak. I am beyond blessed to have a fabulous mama, I mean, where else would I get the fabulous from? She does more for me that I would like but I appreciate more than she knows. We don’t always see eye to eye but we love each other.

I am feeling a bit of nostalgia and longing for those that have left this astral plane far too soon. Those who I have always turned to when I was feeling this way. Sometimes I still hear their voices when I scream out into the universe. They always tell me to never give up. I can feel their love.

Last night was particularly hard because it was the 2nd anniversary of my Vicky’s passing. I went through most of my day pretty good, found out my brother, sister-in-law and nephew were coming to dinner so that was good. I picked up another client so that is happy news. Dinner was great, children babbling, different conversations and family time. After the dishes were done, the house was picked up and guests were gone I guess it hit me hard. I was using an excuse about something else, so I could be angry, but I think one of the true reason for my emotions was I still feel the loss 2 years later of Vicky’s unexpected death.

It was so surreal. In some ways, I feel like it was a bad nightmare that couldn’t have really happened. We had planned to take the boy to Chuck E. Cheese since we still had tons of tokens left over from his birthday party and we both had the day off. Dinner with friends would wrap up our weekend and Monday was to start a new week. We had both been through so much and it seemed like life was getting back on track. But when the boy went into her room that morning, came out and said she was sleeping and it was cold in her room I knew. Trying to not look as shaken as I felt I went quietly into her room and saw her laying on the bed. Leaned over like she fell asleep while on her computer with her glasses still on, peaceful looking. But I knew. I touched her leg and it was all I could do to keep from screaming out. I called my other “sister” and said something to the effect of get over here ASAP I am calling 911 because I was pretty sure Vicky was dead. She arrived moments with the police and ambulance and took over the care of the boy. It only took 10 minutes to clear me as a “suspect” and once the boy was gone and I could talk freely, we realized that she had most likely had a heart attack and just died. No drugs or foul play she just died. She was 47. She had just started a new job, met a new guy and was making friends in the city. She had started over again but was happy for the first time in a long time.

I realize we never know how long we have. We never know when we are talking to someone that it could be the last time. If I had known with her I know it would have been more than “Do you need anything from Walmart? Ok no? I love you sister”. I would have hugged her and told her again how proud I was of her and how thankful I was to share a portion of this wild ride of life with her.

Whew talk about cathartic! It may sound crazy but I feel better! Writing down my feelings and sharing them helps me more than I could have ever imagined.

I guess now I will go and work on finding a real job… and writing a few articles! You never know when you will get that break you have worked so hard for.

Know you aren’t alone in your thoughts and feelings.

Know that some days are going to completely suck and that’s ok. There will be better days.

I do hope you all have a fabulous day my friends!

*I dedicate this post to my “sister” Vicky and my “little sister” Woocy. And of course my amazing mama. Thank you all for believing in me and putting up with my madness!

Have you ever had a craptastic day emotionally? How do you handle it? Tell me, I’m listening.