Wednesday Words


Words have power.

Words can also be pointless. Like air blowing over the landscape.

Sometimes words can convey emotions and feelings.

Other times the words are just there for answers, like a computer spitting out the information you need for your school paper. Monotonous. Clinical.

Words can cut you to the emotional bone.

They can make you laugh, cry, weep with joy or sadness. They can make you angry. They can start a movement of change. Words are good and bad, though you can’t have one without the other.

The boy is learning sight words in Pre-K. Yes, they have homework in Pre-K and I hear Kindergarten is worse with homework. At this stage I am wondering if I should book a tutor now for math in elementary school and get an early bird special! He is pretty good and identifying words and learning to spell them. Lately, he has been asking how to spell words as well as understanding the meaning of the word, as well as how it is used in a sentence.

Recently we were running a bit late on the way to school. We were talking back and forth, it was a good day with neither of us whining about the morning, when he exclaimed, “Oh damnit!” Of course I gave him a sideways, crooked look and asked him what he said. He repeated it clearly. Even enunciating while looking at me. He knew he had said an adult word but wasn’t sure it was acceptable. I asked him where he heard it. He thought about it and smiled the I-can-answer-this look and said, “You?” Oh no, no sir, I don’t think so. While I have no problem admitting I can have a potty mouth pretty much 24/7 it’s like I get shocked in my mind if I say a curse word in front of any kid, much less mine! Have I dropped a few not so nice words before? Absolutely. Have I told him each and every time I did it NOT to use that word and it was an adult word? YES. So him saying he heard it from me as a question, let’s me know he doesn’t want to reveal his source. I told him he would hear a LOT of new words as life goes on. If they weren’t words he heard from the Teachers at school, he needed to ask me in private before he tries it out in public. Because some words can get you into a lot of trouble by using them. I use “dangit” in place of damnit around children and some adults. Yes, I’ve slipped up but not often. It’s like something catches in my throat and won’t let me say the words flying through my head. I will say his placement of the word was excellent. He was using the word in frustration over forgetting to take his medicine drops that morning. Something we can do later in the day but he prefers to take it in the morning. I watched him in the back seat say dangit and mouth damnit. He looked up to see if I was looking, I am way better at looking like I saw nothing, and then said, “Ok we say dangit not the other.” Very good grasshopper.

We don’t realize how our words affect others or often, that others are paying attention when we think they are not. It’s how the boy gets me. I tend to talk to myself when I am busy. I ramble about whatever I am doing or whatever it is I may be thinking about. He may wait a few minutes, an hour, days or weeks but he will bring back up something that I say to myself. He has a wicked smart memory for one so young.

As I watch him learn to use his words I am in awe. He is starting to understand how words can hurt people but also make them feel better. He asks for definitions and how to spell them. He loves being read to and is looking forward to reading his own books. He loves now recognizing the words he is learning in school when we are reading our books.

I pray he will learn how to use his words to make people feel better. To stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves and to fight for what is right.

I hope he will love words as much as I do.

I have so many hopes and dreams for him. I just want him healthy and happy.

Maybe one day he will read these words. The internet is forever as is my love for him.

I hope you all have a fabulously wonderful Wednesday!

Keep Hope Alive!

Cleaning out the closets


improve your life

Recently I have been doing some fall cleaning/organizing. Actually it’s just long overdue yet we need to call it spring or fall cleaning when in fact it is just cleaning you should have done but waited to do!

For me, I am going through clothes in closets, drawers and the attic to see what I want and what needs to go. It is always fun to look through your stuff once you get it to a point where you can actually see what all you have! I moved from TN last year and had the best of intentions of getting things organized when I moved. I did somewhat but not what was really needed. So now I am going through for both myself and the boy cleaning out and organizing the massive spread of stuff we have accumulated! This could take a while. It seems I have stuff everywhere! When I moved I thought all of my clothes, etc were put upstairs, yet when I was seeking out a particular item from my storage in the basement I found another clothes box. Sigh. The good is I found some stuff I had been looking for. The bad is I am not sure what other boxes have clothes! It’s nearly impossible with the tetris stacks of boxes to go through just one. I have such big dreams!

piles of clothes everywhere

The good thing is one of the charities I volunteer with will be getting a large donation of clothes and shoes! I even found a pair of boots I never wore. For the record I did try to send them back and give them away but couldn’t find anyone with the right sized foot. The best part is someone will get a new pair of boots they weren’t expecting! See how I found the good in all of that madness?!

It seems I have infected others with the “clean it out bug” and that has turned into a win for me! I have ended up with clothes and jackets from my friends. Score! Of course it makes me rethink some of my “I will just keep that just in case” choices and give it to others who truly need it more than I do. How many pairs of black pants can one person own?! That is a rhetorical question for anyone that knows me!

I hope you are all having a fabulously fine Tuesday and getting things accomplished, whatever it may be.

As always, Keep Hope Alive and Stay Fabulous!

 

 

MONDAY…. We can do this!


have a wonderful monday

Well it has arrived full steam ahead… MONDAY!

Whether you are ready for it or not it is here! You may have hidden for a while thinking you could hide from it but it is going to happen whether you are ready for it or not. It can be dreadful or fabulous. I guess it could even be fabulously dreadful but I am all about the hope and I hope it is fabulous!

Coming off a weekend into Monday can be hard no matter if your weekend was good or bad.

A good friend of mine said Monday is like getting to start with a clean slate. I like that thought. Not that everything else is forgotten, but it is a brand new day and why not make it a good Monday? For the person who spoke those words to me, I can only hope your day is better than the weekend.

monday isnt bad

I am ready for my boy to come home! He was with his dad and family for a week, and even though I got to talk to him and see him once, I miss him terribly when he is gone. Plus, it is our favorite week, Halloween week! We are hoping to do a few different things this week in celebration, but as life teaches us, things can change any second. I am hoping we get to do everything we have planned! Of course it involves dressing up! Which in my household, we do on a regular basis anyway. That is a sign of being creative. Or maybe a little bit crazy, does it really matter?!

So go out and find the good in this Fabulous Monday!

Remember it’s only 5 more wake ups ‘til Halloween!!!!!

halloween

Have a fantastic Monday my Graceless Friends!

Keep Hope Alive

Happy Sunday!


As we come to the end of this long, challenging week I wish you hope. I wish you happiness in your heart and soul. I hope that you have found precious moments in this life.

I hope you got to enjoy friendship, laugh so hard your belly ached and/or got puppy kisses. I was lucky enough to get all three. I also had several hardships,  a few challenges thrown that were more daunting than I imagined and some plans go south. I was able to find the good in everything even in the dark times. I know that I am not alone on this journey of life. I know I have people I can turn to and trust when I ask questions or make statements that are out there. I know that no matter what I say, my true people are there for me. Cheering me on when needed and calling me out too.

I wrote a post earlier this week how life can change in an instant. It can. It does. Never take things for granted. Never take people for granted.

I hope you all have a fabulously beautiful Sunday!

Keep Hope Alive!

Can we try to be nice?


Let’s just take a time out and stop assuming about each other. Why don’t we also stop judging too along with unrealistic expectations for others. Life is not a competition people. So why does it seem people seem to think that if they can’t find you, you don’t answer in their time frame or in a manner they feel is “right” suddenly there are assumptions made that are not even close to how reality is.

I don’t understand why folks let themselves get in a tizzy over something that they have made up in their head about you. Or they take it to another level and suddenly someone is a bad person and they are passing judgement on someone. Whether or not its you or someone else, why do we tend to think the worst of people? Why can’t we have a little hope, no matter how many times they’ve screwed up. or not, that they are handling issues of their own and it isn’t about you or anyone else for that matter. They are just trying to handle their life the best they can and don’t need anyone telling them how to live their life. I don’t care if you live with them, there could be things you don’t know about.

So let’s save the judgements and assumptions, scratch that, let’s just do away with them altogether. Try giving folk a break, turning the other cheek and not being such a tattle tale. Once we get past a certain age, we are considered adults. It would be a better world if people would just remember not only that they are adults, but the golden rule of “Do under others as you would have done unto you.” A much, much better world.

Imagine it.

Keep Hope Alive!

It’s Friday!!!


friday peanuts

We have made it my graceless peeps! It’s Friday! I feel like I have crawled to this day! But I have made it! If you are reading this, you have made it as well!

Change in schedules, plans and all around chaos seems to have been the theme for the week. The boy has been with his dad for the week so I have been a bit off but been so grateful to my friends, family and my man to help me get through it. Even with work, sickness and not getting to see several friends I am still grateful that I am alive and here to be writing whatever random thoughts my brain releases!

I feel like I am always trying to be a cheerleader for folks. Don’t get me wrong but it is just how I am. If my brain goes to the dark places and I write about it, people question if I am “OK”. Hello I am human! This means that I have multiple thoughts and emotions and sometimes I have to write about the not so pretty stuff too!

However, today is not one of those days! No, today is a get some things done, rest and hang with my girls kind of day! WhooooWhoooo I take my visits when I can get them and the universe smiled and said, “It’s time again” so we are together again minus one. It makes me happy in my heart!

I hope you are all having a fabulous Friday and that you make it through this day with a bit of laughter and maybe a dance or two!

friday happy dance

This fabulously graceless freak is signing off for now!

Have a fantastic day and always Keep Hope Alive!

 

 

Plague, plague Go Away!


web md google dying

I feel the itching & scratching. No I will not let it in I start fighting it.

A few days ago it was trying to fill my head, make me stuffy. Always bringing the exhaustion. No! I will not give in to you oh cruel, evil vermin.

It is the seasonal “plague” as I call it. The one that gets in your head and chest and sometimes knocks you down for days. I have been doing battle since the first symptoms started last week.

Chances are good I got the germ from the boy, my little Typhoid Mary, as I am always up at his school. It doesn’t really matter where I got it, or apparently how much of that hand sanitizer I use, it has chosen to try and get into my system and knock me down. I am not cool with that!

clorox wipes

It’s one thing to have the back and hip problems I have. To wake up to a new ache or situation with something I am familiar with at least. But when this crap begins rearing its ugly head at me I tend to get a bit psycho on it. I immediately start taking OTC meds, guzzling more water and juices than I already do, and adding more vitamins to my routine. I work to eat better and try to sleep more because I know that sleeping helps. When I wake to crusty eyes and no voice I stumble to the bathroom for a hot wash cloth and gargle with salt water. I do everything I can think of doing to try and beat the beast before it truly awakens.

Its average is twice a year to knock me down. Last time I called the local ENT and went in for a shot and antibiotics to knock it out. I was still down for a few days. I am not what one would call a patient patient! I try to be but I am so independent. Caregiving is my job, not something I want to need for myself! Yet every year I find myself being attacked by a similar “bug” no matter how vigilant I am. I can’t take the flu shot, no, not any of them, so if I get the flu I will really be screwed!

Since I have had my son, it’s harder for me to be sick when I know that he needs me. At least he is seeing anyone can get sick no matter what precautions they take and how to care for others who are sick. He makes a good nurse though telling him I can’t run around, not because of my back, but because I have a fever and the doctor frowns on us getting too overheated. Not that I could run around if I wanted to!

fine no sleep needed

I pray that none of my fabulous readers get this plague. If you do, I pray it passes quickly and you aren’t down too long!

Try to stay healthy and Keep Hope Alive my Friends!

Life can change in an instant


life is short live it cherish love anger fear memories

In an instant it can all change. Your plans, you very life can change. All with a phone call, text or personal visit.
I may be graceless but I try to work on a schedule, which is harder now that I do freelance and work for myself. So when I schedule time for things, I reschedule other things and even tack on extra things to sometimes get yet another thing taken care of. The schedule is flexible and I juggle but I do pretty well most of the time. If something changes I can go with the flow and make arrangements to reschedule and work around the other things.
My original plans for this weekend included much overdue time needed with my girls, a bit of organization and many laughs and good friends. Since I was already going to be in the area, I also scheduled a needed doctor appointment prior to the getting together.
Then came the text I didn’t want to get. My friend’s aunt had passed. Although it was early in the week, I knew that our plans for the weekend would change. I knew she needed to be there for her family and I want her to be. She was apologizing to me for having to cancel. And asking if I would let our other friend know, she was coming in from yet another state, that she had to cancel and was sorry. This lady is quality let me tell you! Here she is with the loss of her beloved aunt, having to pack up and travel to another state and worrying about canceling plans with 2 friends. 2 friends who are immediately asking what we can do and saying not to worry, and meaning it, that of course we can re-schedule. Yes, you can call on your way there or anytime you need to talk! I feel for her and her family. It is hard enough when someone we love passes, it is also hard to coordinate your life, you job, your spouse/partner and family to be gone for several days to mourn the passing of your loved one. It takes it out of you both emotionally and physically. You deal with relatives, friends, people you haven’t seen in years or some you have never met and are meeting finally for the first time. It is bittersweet as you know it is the one you love who brought everyone together and they are no longer here
Of course we are sad we aren’t getting together and able to do the things we had “planned” to do, however certain things take precedence over “plans”.  Life Happens.
When my daddy died I was devastated. We all knew it was coming, and coming soon. We were blessed in respect to knowing that it would be quick and hopefully painless. It was fortuitous that I was there with my daddy, close family and friends when he left this plane. A part of my life was on hold while we took care of The Final Arrangements for my father. I called into work to let them know what was happening, I still took care of the boy, but was also helping my mom, uncle, brother and aunt as they were helping me. We are all trying to just get through, even with a “plan” for this event, it was not an “easy” process. I am grateful to family and friends that stepped up, either through actions or just kind words or gestures, of being there for me. My “little sister” Wucy took over packing up my home in TN before driving to AL with her wonderful fiancé for the services. She then helped the day of the funeral when our home turned into an impromptu large gathering of friends, family and business associates of my dad and family. There were so many people there that wanted to share their memory and be with others who loved and respected him. The night before the funeral it snowed. There were ice storms in the surrounding areas and there was concern we needed to move the funeral time. Fortunately, the day of the streets around us were clear enough for us to make it to the church and then to the cemetery and home safely. It was those little things that got us through, but now we were facing a different reality than the one we had previously. In an instant my mother went from married to widowed. In an instant, my brother and I no longer had a father and my uncle no longer had a brother. We knew it was coming as my dad had been fighting a brave fight against cancer for a second time. It did not make it any easier when the moment came and he wasn’t with us any longer. We were glad he was no longer suffering, but also upset that we were no longer here to share with us his love, humor and wisdom when we desperately needed it.

i dont grieve for moment of loved one

Life can change in an instant. You never know what will happen or when plans will change.
Tell you family and friends you love them and how much they mean to you every chance you get.
Always Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous day.

stop n look around life amazing

 

We all struggle, make it worth it


peace in heart

It seems I am constantly struggling.

Struggling to find more hours to work.

Struggling to find more time to clean.

Struggling to find a better job.

Struggling to be a better parent, daughter, sister, friend, and partner.

Struggling to just be at times it seems.

Just when I think I am closer to getting it right a complaint comes in.

Trying to please everyone I can’t seem to get it right.

If I take time out for this, when I will do that? If I do this and this, and a portion of that and mistakenly think I have taken care of it all somehow then someone is unhappy. I mean, everyone feels they are the most important, right? If I am supposed to service everyone else first, how am I supposed to take care of my own needs? Don’t they see if I am not whole I cannot produce to the level of their desires and needs? God forbid I say anything for knowing I will get put back in my place. Standing up for oneself is frowned upon unless it is “at the right” time for someone else.

My passion is caring for others and writing. Not lucrative passions but both can be with a bit of cultivation. Of course that takes time and again is filed under “taking too much time” for myself again by some and where would they be if things weren’t done by me? It’s a vicious cycle. One I am working hard to get out of as quickly as possible. I try to keep focus on one thing and not let something else drag me away for something that can wait.

whatever good for soul is happiness

Life isn’t always easy, it isn’t always pretty, but it is life. It’s also what you make of it.

It doesn’t matter if I am financially challenged, physically challenged and questioning my sanity, life keeps on happening. Therefore I must Keep Hope Alive. Or I will be dragged into the pits with no escape. It would be so easy sometimes to just let go, maybe to just not care. Of course I can’t do it nor will I. I care too much. My passions seep out of me. I can no more stop writing and taking care of others than I can consciously stop breathing. It would cripple me more than my body is already and that I cannot live with.

So I continue to struggle. But this time, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the hope. I feel the sunshine on my face. I will make it out. This time. And again, and again, and again. I will never give up.

Have a fabulous day and Always Keep Hope Alive!

Wake up and live…. it’s Monday!


Helloooooooo Monday!! It’s time to wake up and live!!!

wake up and live

I hope you are all having a stellar Monday today! The beginning of the week, the fresh slate or the maotic manic Monday, whatever it is I hope it is fabulous!

As I was working my way through my pint, of Haagen – Dazs that is, I realized how ironic it was that I sometimes dreaded Mondays. I love to sleep and depending on how much or how little sleep that I got the previous weekend, made all the difference on how my attitude was for Mondays. That isn’t fair to me or Mondays because I was already setting my brain for a potential crap day based on my sleep cycle. Anyone with a child knows this is a very bad idea! Even if you don’t have a child it is a bad idea because you are setting yourself up to mentally have a bad day.

be awesome on monday

Some days it is just so hard to get going. Mondays can be harder at times it seems. So this Monday I hope your week begins smoothly. I hope that you don’t get cut off in traffic, run late or have any myriad of things go awry!

Here’s to Keeping Hope Alive no matter what this day throws our way!

mn be good to me i good to you

I hope your week flows the way that’s needed and that you share your happiness with others. Or maybe you need the happiness and I hope that you can find that.

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!